All Posts by Darrell Gurney

December 31, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…and New Resolve

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the years’.” –Henry Moore

It’s that time again: when many people get excited or anxious (or a mixture of the two) of what they’re going to change about themselves or their life in the coming year.

At some level of our development, it’s a darn good thing that we stop, examine and assess where we might get better, do better, or live better than we have in the past. There’s nothing to be knocked about self-reflection.

Yet, oftentimes the whole hullaballoo over what those resolutions will be and the romanced state we feel of what life will be like once they are implemented can get a bit melodramatic…and actually impede our growth.

I once read a study which determined that folks who share with others the things they are “going to do” (someday) actually diminish their chances of fulfilling on those intentions considerably.

The scientists postulated that, in the mere telling of the future accomplishment, the person was able to gain a little bit of juicy-juice from the imagining of that goal fulfilled…even though it was still just scribbles on a page.

Later, after getting the “hit” of those juices, it actually satiated their desire to the point that actually taking action to fulfill the goal began to occur as too much work. In effect, they lived vicarously through their own goals.

I’ve been guilty of it myself. Several years ago, I spent about a month coming up with a seamless and air-tight marketing plan, with themes, actions and deliverables for each month in the coming year. I was so proud of it that I stared at it and could have literally hung it on the wall.

In effect, that’s what I should have done because it would have at least kept me present to how full of bull I was…because I didn’t take action on any single bit of it! It stayed in a really nice manila folder in my backpack for several months before I happened upon it and remembered.

What if we put away the illusory need for a particular date on the calendar to initiate changes, improvements and personal expansion and made every single day a ripe time for transforming ourselves?

Paraphrasing the popular Elvis holiday song, “But if every day could be just like our New Years desire for growth, what a wonderful life this would be.”

Got daily resolve?

“I believe in living life the way that you want to live it every day, and if you do that, you don’t really need to have New Year’s resolutions.” –Tom Ford

December 24, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit, and tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief.” –William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Happy Holidays!

Got happy?

“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.” –Thomas Jefferson

December 17, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“What helps me go forward is that I stay receptive, I feel that anything can happen.” –Anouk Aimee

Many of us grew up with the concept of “work hard” being the basis of success. To profess otherwise is almost sacrilege.

We not only had that concept ingrained within us but we, in turn, ingrain it within our teenagers who, left to their own devices, often attempt to rely on privilege vs. hard work.

Then, we get older and are introduced to the idea of “work smart”, mostly offered as an alternative to working hard.  In truth, together, they make a strong combination.

Yet, even these ideas themselves may set us up with an internal “formula” that we believe must be met, such as ultimate productivity in each day, dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s of doing it “right”, etc.

Perhaps adding “work receptive” is a final ingredient to make an iron-clad and winning trifecta.

By including receptivity, we give up the idea that we necessarily know how it’s all going to come together or what could pop at any moment. Yet, by not being attached to our own internal rules of “how” it’s going to happen, unexpected ways and means can show up.

For example, when showing my new reality show sizzle reel to a Hollywood producer last year, to get his input and advice, he saw that I was trying to make it “perfect”. He advised me wisely, “Darrell, you have to always make room for the Divine. And you can’t plan or make anything perfect enough for that.”

Maybe there may be some ideas you want to give up of how your dream has to occur (while still working hard and smart) so something unexpected can show up?

Got receptivity?

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” –Isaac Asimov

December 10, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“I hope I didn’t bore you too much with my life story.” –Elvis Presley

The season has many old holiday favorites showing on television, one of which is “It’s a Wonderful Life” with Jimmy Stewart.

In it, George Bailey discovers that the failure he thought his life to be just wasn’t so…and that the impacts of his life thus lived had been blind to him, but huge nonetheless.

The movie reminds us that we can’t underestimate the extent to which every small or large act on our part extends to shape the lives and world around us.

In recent years, the field of chaos theory has presented this idea in purporting that the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil can set off a tornado in Texas. It’s called the “butterfly effect.”

One more lesson of the movie is that we all have a story which is continually being written. We all have a story which is continually being written. (I could write it again, but you get the point: we still don’t know the ending.)

Fiction readers thrive on the unexpected twist in a story, those things occurring or characters appearing which we couldn’t have predicted or imagined.

What if we all became great fiction writers this coming year?

If you had the pen (or keyboard), what unique, exciting and unexpected twists would you build into your life story…as a complete departure from the steady-eddie plot thus far?

Where would you throw in some flaps of your wings that would create whole new weather patterns in the world?

Got writer’s cramp?

“I used to think, ‘How can I write my life story? I’m still living it.’” –Frank Serpico

December 3, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Everything starts as somebody’s daydream.” –Larry Niven

Maybe I’m the last to hear it, but I recently saw a banner with the phrase “Never quit your daydream.”

Isn’t that the most perfect affirmation for holding on beyond hope, persisting in the face of delays and no results, and keeping the light on in the soul while we also gotta keep the lights on in the house?

What’s most interesting is that I caught that phrase. My brain pulled it out of 11 million bits bombarding it each second and placed it with the only 50 bits which I could process in that second.

Call it magnetic attraction or even “crystallization”, yet we can’t deny the pattern of bringing to ourselves and pulling out of the morass the exact situations, circumstances, insights and “chance” occurrences to fit our overriding themes of thought.

So, obviously, I like the idea of new possibilities…for people, their careers, and lives. Plus, redemption and overcoming stories have built many a Hollywood producer’s bank account.

Naturally then, this phrase reached out to me.

What are you noticing in your day?

Where are you allowing the onslaught of information which pounds you incessantly to be simplified and condensed into exactly the messages of direction, information or inspiration that you need?

Got a moment?

“Technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives. It interrupts our own story, interrupts our ability to have a thought or a daydream, to imagine something wonderful, because we’re too busy bridging the walk from the cafeteria back to the office on the cell phone.” –Steven Spielberg

November 26, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…with 1 Year of Thanks!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.” –Albert Schweitzer

Who rekindled your light this year? This may be a perfect time to let them know.

So, I’m hereby letting YOU know!

I’m thankful to you for letting me share, hopefully, a word of inspiration each week for the past year. I launched this weekly missive before Thanksgiving last year without really knowing how it would land and/or (honestly) if I could be counted on to stick with it!

To my deep delight, I’ve received many replies back from folks over the last 12 months who’ve said it serves its purpose: to help view our work, life and career a little differently so that we might, one day, no longer worship a “hump day” from which to desperately slide toward the end of the week.

If we love what we do, and our work and play cannot be distinquished from one another, what need is there for a “hump day” anyway?

Yet, the big bonus was learning how much I enjoy the opportunity each week to put together, for my own growth, the thoughts I need to hear for myself. I then share them with you.

If you get uplifted out of this deal, that’s a bonus. And you gotta know, I write them to set my own self straight!

So, I’m hugely thankful for your listening and getting any JOLTs (Job Overhauls/Life Transformations) out of this for yourself…and appreciate your rekindling my light by enjoying these ideas with me.

Again, who rekindled your light this year? This may be a perfect time to let them know.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Got gratitude?

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” –Melody Beattie

November 19, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day and Dream 2015 Launch!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“You will launch many projects, but have time to finish only a few. So think, plan, develop, launch and tap good people to be responsible. Give them authority and hold them accountable. Trying to do too much yourself creates a bottleneck.” –Donald Rumsfeld

Whether our career is taking place in the form of corporate employment, self-employment or start-up entrepreneurial efforts, there will always be the need for team. No man or woman is an island.

And the question will often arise within us (some more than others) of how much we should hand off vs. manage ourselves. Those of us who qualify as perfectionists and do-it-yourselfers have a harder time with this.

And yet, what it may come down to is the basic decision that Einstein said every person must make for themselves: whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.

Most likely, our dreams will start small, whether it be tinkering with micro-computers in a garage, developing a social-interaction website in a dorm room, or starting a one-location coffee shop in the historic market place area of Seattle.

What interests me is, while intending to grow, if we can make a new, healthier Einstein choice…even if, based on track record, we must have chosen differently in the past?

In other words, perhaps history shows that we thought we had to do it alone. But what if our future can evolve as team like never before?

Maybe small on some scales, yet I’ve proven to myself that it IS possible to make a new choice. The team that put together my newest offering below is the BEST. Thank you Alicia! Thank you Tina! Thank you Phil! Thank you helpful folks at Udemy!

So now, to your budding dream: Where, and with what projects important to you, can you prove to yourself that you are supported by team?

Where can you let the fear-based phantom of perfectionism poof out of existence in your own plans for progress?

Got launch?

“The most frequently asked question I hear first-time entrepreneurs ask is, ‘How do I know when to launch my product?’ The answer, more often than not, should be: ‘Now!’” –Naveen Jain

November 12, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe.” –Sumner Redstone

Don’t we love to entertain the idea that “success” comes from an already-existing past history, way of being, or tendency toward success?

It’s easy to delude ourselves that success is associated with some silver-spooned pre-inclination or track-record of “things just working out.”  Or, if one is entertaining success from humble beginnings, then it’s driven by a need to “overcome”, that is going to “make things work out.”

Either way, we don’t always consider the muck, the mistakes, the roadblocks, ratholes and reroutes as necessary milestones on the road to success. Those often show up as bad, held negatively, and are assumed to be enemies to battle or imprison.

But how does one develop a muscle if there is no gym? If there’s no resistance to encounter, what causes the Star tissue (vs. scar tissue) to develop?

Just what if “problems” are our really our fitness advisors? What if delays are divine messengers for our dream’s development?

Do we stop, get mad, get even…or do we enjoy and embrace the resistance?

Got frustration?

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” –Kurt Vonnegut

November 5, 2014, TGIW: TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…and Simply Last Chance!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Genius might be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way.” –Charles Bukowski

The tendency is to alliterate, berate, complicate, deliberate, extrapolate, fabricate, guesstimate, hesitate, individuate, jubilate, lacerate, modulate, negotiate, orchestrate, pontificate, reciprocate, subordinate, transmigrate, underestimate, and/or vacillate…

But it’s so hard to just keep it simple.

(And we don’t obligate to use k, q, w, x, y and z just to fit a pattern.)

Got simple?

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” –Confucius

October 29, 2014, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” –Jan Glidewell

Life brings us many perfectly-termed and metaphoric lessons when we’re awake to it.

My Outlook browser recently crashed. It was where I stored most every correspondence to do with my life. Though I keep most files separate from the emails they came or left in, I generally maintain various folders within Outlook for communications around the business activities and interests of my life.

So, it was as if my “life and times” had been wiped out in one fell swoop.

[Before we get to the punchline, take the hint: backup now!]

Like many of us have experienced (especially through recent times), I was facing a “starting over” process…with the last 6 years of communications eliminated. Not an exciting prospect.

I tried to think affirmatively and had all my friends praying as I brought my computer to the “miracle worker” shop I had used for years.  Yet, I had a sick feeling, from past experience, that a frozen Outlook file spelled disaster.

Sometimes we need to get the “lesson” being offered before conditions can shift…so I began looking. Again, it amazes me how literal our lessons can be.

It was time for a new “outlook”, one not based on the past, what had been done before, what had been said before.

Immediately I got the hit that my “Outlook” file would be recovered…yet I wouldn’t be able to interact with it: only to view it and use it for reference when necessary, but not operate based out of it.

Sure enough, lesson learned, and the old file is now accessible in “read-only mode.”

I truly hope the lesson was indeed learned (this time), and I offer the same restorative inquiry to you:

How can your dusty records of “life and times” get a wipe-out makeover, so you have a new “outlook,” informed by the past but not based on it?

Got new outlook?

“What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.” –Billy Crystal