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Jan 04

January 4, 2023 – JOLT – Meant to BE in 2023

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.”

Thomas Jefferson

 

You didn’t miss me, but I’m clapping your ACTION!

Trailing Holiday Greetings

Ever noticed how you don’t think about who didn’t put out a holiday email, send a text or (if you’re old fashioned) send a greeting card. You only think of the ones who did. . .but they kinda come in such a flurry that they all blend together.

Well, here’s your last one, coming a bit later when you might notice it more. (Maybe an approach to take in other areas of life?)

Now wishing that you had the best holidays possible and that your New Year demonstrates in realtime all the high intentions you’re bringing into it.

After the Planning is ACTION!

I shared in a couple messages before the holidays that my wife and I do a pretty thorough process of completing the old year and creating the new. We both answered a lot of questions individually in a format we use, then shared our answers with one another to get a sense of where we each want to grow and live life more fully.

Our next step was to each create a Vision Board based on our individual intentions, which we just completed and walked through with one another last night. The images on these “boards” will be our computer screen backgrounds and will be printed and hung where we see them regularly so as to engage our reticular activating system, thereby building more conscious and subconscious attraction of these intentions.

WHEW! A lot of play/effort/engagement in all that! (If you’d still like to do that process for yourself, reply back and I’m happy to send the questions format.)

But now comes the footwork: ACTION!

The Slate Board Has Clapped!

That thing they slap before beginning a scene in Hollywood is called the “clapperboard” or “slate board” and, guess what? Your 2023 movie has begun!

The question is, are you hanging out in your talent trailer still feverishly learning your lines, getting your character profile in place and readying yourself for camera. . .

Or are you ACTING?

It’s showtime folks. Let’s get off script and play this one!

My wife gave me a little medallion when we got together with the Yiddish word “Bashert” on it, which means “meant to be.”

YOU are Meant to BE in 2023! Bashert!

Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

If you missed any of my recent “Becoming” series of JOLT Notes at the end of last year, see them HERE beginning Oct 12.

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Zig Ziglar
Dec 14

December 14, 2022 – JOLT – Becoming Ain’t For the Faint of Heart

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

George Bernard Shaw

 

Becoming ain’t for the faint of heart

The Remedy for Played Out

A favorite late uncle of mine always made a playful comment about aging: “Getting old ain’t for sissies.”

Humorous, and no doubt true when it comes to the body not keeping up to speed with that still vital childhood spirit inside of us that wants to express as fully and rigorously as possible.

For sure, the body lagging behind is something we all must embrace at some point. For most of us, however, that point is NOT now: there’s still a lot of play – meaning flexibility, capacity and endurance – in our bodies to fulfill on that childhood spirit of curiosity and expansion.

“Played out,” by definition, means “worn out or used up: tired out: spent” (Merriam-Webster). Rarely are we as played out physically as we may be mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

So, what’s the remedy?

Flexing the mental, emotional and spiritual muscles before they atrophy! PLAY!

“Becoming” is Hard Work: So Play!

We’re fast approaching that traditional time of year when – if we haven’t played ourselves out into utter resignation (the belief that nothing will make any difference) – there’s a pull to reinvent, recreate or otherwise reenergize our lot in life.

Nothing wrong with that ritual. Ritual is what underpins so much of our life. The spirit wants to Become more of itself.

The problem comes in forcing ourselves to work toward who we want to
Become vs playing our way toward it.

Here are some timely questions to ask yourself:

1. Am I willing to do it again, to aspire for more of me, to Become?
2. Am I willing to finally, or at least once again, get on the playing field of designing/creating/establishing that career change/new business/published book/healthy habit/spicy relationship/spicy singleness/financial stability/long-term goal or dream?
3. If the answer is yes, am I willing to do everything possible to ensure my success this time and truly play?

We’re just a bit over two weeks away from the ritualistic New Year moment where hopes and dreams for big and small life shifts are put out into the Universe. In so many ways, it just comes down to “Am I willing?”

My wife and I are in our annual “Year Wrap, Year Creation” process where we answer a ton of questions about the year gone by and the one on the rise.

As a holiday public service announcement, I encourage you to take a bit of time – even in the midst of the holiday rush – to invest in acknowledging and honoring the seemingly good, bad and ugly of the last 12 months, what was accomplished and what was learned and, with that internal childhood spirit of curiosity and expansion, put some answers down to the questions above.

If it supports you in making the most of this unique time of personal transformation potential. . .

1. Download a free copy of the Top Ten Tips for Life’s Radical Second Half.
Get a sense of what’s possible in your life, career, goals and dreams at midlife and beyond by incorporating these 10 tips throughout the holidays. PLUS, you’ll get information about The Back Forty Play Project where we’ll be playing one-day/someday goals and dreams into NOW in the New Year.

2. Join my wife, Alexandra, and me next Tuesday evening at 5pm PST/8pm EST for a 1-hour walkthrough of our annual “Year Wrap and Year Creation” process.Too often, we either slide past this annual ritual without the attention for re-creation that it deserves or else we slap pipe-dream fixes onto our lives that won’t hold water come Jan. 2. Join us as we share our very own and very real process we’re engaged in now to clean the 2022 slate so as to have only new and vibrant energy surrounding 2023. NOTE: This will be a small, private group on zoom, so reply back personally to get all the details.

3. Enjoy some personal one-on-one time with me by scheduling a complimentary PlayGame Huddle to explore together and discover what your “game” for 2023 could be. Whether it’s that career change you’ve been contemplating, that book or business still on the drawing board, or the multitude of health, financial, relationship or other goals that matter most to you now, it’s all fair “game” material.

Grab a copy of my new book (even an inexpensive eBook copy), recently recognized as a finalist in two categories by the American Book Fest Book Awards, and schedule a complimentary 25min opportunity to discover your game worth playing next year.

Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

If you missed any of my recent “Becoming” series of JOLT Notes, see them HERE beginning Oct 12.

“It is a happy talent to know how to play.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Dec 07

December 7, 2022 – JOLT – It’s Beginning to Look a lot like Becoming

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.”

Germany Kent

 

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like New Becoming

Did you miss my last “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Notes from the last several weeks? See PART I through Part VI HERE and, if they speak to you, this next installment should be made to order. Thanks for your interest in “Becoming”.

Becoming in 2023

As we come to the close of 2022, isn’t it great that the calendar gives us yet another (made-up ritual) opportunity to go at it again?

It’s just a switch from one day to the next – Dec 31 to Jan 1 – but the value of what’s possible in terms of hopes and dreams being awoken and rekindled: limitless!

To dream a new dream, to set a new goal, to clean the slate on any judgments of how well we performed in our previous 12 months – as we intended and strove for greater joy, freedom and Self-expression in our lives – and to now “Become” all over again? Priceless!

In that regard, I’ve been sharing with you recently some of my own experiences in “Becoming” this past year, both precipitated and elongated by the publishing of my newest book, The Back Forty: 7 Essential Embraces to Launch Life’s Radical Second Half (see this series of posts beginning Oct 12 if you missed any).

And, as my wife and I engage in an annual process of reviewing our past year, acknowledging our wins, challenges, accomplishments and “growth opportunities,” I get even more clear that any “Becoming” I accomplished last year – meaning showing up more as who I came here to be and getting more aligned with what I came here to do – didn’t happen solo but with fellow “Becomers.”

Interesting that the word “comer” refers to someone who arrives somewhere or is likely to succeed. I’m committed to supporting “Becomers” – those who succeed through constant arriving at the next and next and next level of their goals and dreams – inside of a small, private team in 2023. It’s called The Back Forty Play Project. Would you like to be a part of that team?

Gift Giving (Already) for The Year Ahead

Here are some holiday gifts and opportunities for you to get a sense of what’s possible from participating with us. And, if you haven’t had personal time with me yet, here’s a chance to feel me out and see if I’m the coach for you to “Become” with in 2023!

1. Download a free copy of the newly revised Top Ten Tips for Life’s Radical Second Half.
Want to get a sense of what is possible in your life, career, goals and dreams at midlife and beyond? These 10 tips will support you. PLUS, you’ll get to find out all about The Back Forty Play Project.

2. Join my wife, Alexandra, and me next Tuesday evening at 5pm PST/8pm EST for a 1-hour walkthrough of our annual “Year Wrap and Year Creation” process.Too often, we either slide past this annual ritual without the attention for re-creation that it deserves or else we slap pipe-dream fixes onto our lives that won’t hold water come Jan. 2. Join us as we share our very own and very real process that we’re even now going through to clean the 2022 slate so as to have only new and vibrant energy surrounding 2023. NOTE: This will be a small, private group on zoom, so reply back personally to get all the details.

3. Cut straight to the chase on some personal one-on-one time with me by scheduling a PlayGame Huddle to explore together and discover what your “game” for 2023 could be. Whether it’s that career change you’ve been contemplating, that book or business still on the drawing board, or the multitude of health, financial, relationship or other goals that matter most to you now, it’s all fair “game” material.

Grab a copy of my new book (even an inexpensive eBook copy), recently recognized as a finalist in two categories by the American Book Fest Book Awards, and schedule a complimentary 25min opportunity to discover your game worth playing next year.

Our Best Wishes for Your Becoming Spirit this Holiday Season.

Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

Again, if you missed any of PART I through PART VI of my recent “Becoming” series, see them HERE beginning Oct 12.

“Celebrate endings—for they precede new beginnings.”

– Jonathan Huie
Nov 23

November 23, 2022 – JOLT – PART VI 1/2: The Call of THANKSGIVING

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

Oprah Winfrey

 

PART VI 1/2: Been out of touch, but I was answering the call of Becoming

Did you miss my last “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Notes from the last several weeks? See PART I through Part VI HERE and, if they speak to you, follow them up with the sixth-and-a-half installment below. Thanks for your interest in “Becoming”.

Nothing But Thanks!

Keeping it short and sweet today, putting a brief pause in the multi-installment series of “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Notes from the last several weeks so that you can. . .

1) Hear my wish for you, your family and friends to celebrate and enjoy your Thanksgiving with all the gratitude that you WISH you could feel every day of the year.
Isn’t it a great day at the gym of “THANKS”, “GIVING” us a whole day of much needed workout to build the spiritual muscles to experience the life of which Elvis sang: “If every day could be just like [Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, My Birthday, etc.], what a wonderful world it would be?”
2) Catch up on any past installments you may have missed since Oct. 12 HEREand be prepared for a personal invitation coming your way shortly to participate in a small group of inspired players to bring your “one day/someday” goals into reality in the New Year: The Back Forty Play Project (Want a preview? Grab a copy of the award-winning book The Back Forty: 7 Essential Embraces to Launch Life’s Radical Second Half and schedule a complimentary PlayGame Huddle with me next week HERE. I’ll fill you in.)
3) Get off of email and go finish that cooking!!!

Our Best Wishes for a Good “Thanks” Workout to You and Yours “Giving” the Spirit of the Holidays!!


Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”

– Willie Nelson
Nov 16

November 16, 2022 – JOLT – Part VI: The Call of Becoming

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“It is not enough to take steps which may someday lead to a goal; each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

PART VI: Been out of touch, but I was answering the call of Becoming

Did you miss my last “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Notes from the last several weeks? See PART I through Part V HERE and, if they speak to you, follow them up with the next installment below. Thanks for your interest in “Becoming”.

Shall We Truly Play Again?

One of the most famous (and misquoted) lines from cinema is Humphrey Bogart’s “Play it Sam.”

He’s reminiscing about a love and a time gone by.

I’d say for many of us the idea of “playing” is something we reminisce over, perhaps from an earlier and seemingly simpler time. It rarely comes up as a regular and necessary part of our day nor is it a word that ever shows up within a sentence having to do with our goals and dreams.

No. Instead, the pursuit of our “one day” and “someday” goals and dreams is generally replete with words and phrases like “work hard”, “make it happen” or other references toward a nose-to-the-grindstone mindset.

“Working” towards goals has always seemed a more appropriate (and grown up/responsible) action to take rather than “playing” towards them.

But I’m shifting that mindset personally. And I invite you to shift it for yourself as well.

Hey, play beats work any day. Both you and I have “worked” very hard most of our lives!

With the recent publishing of my book, The Back Forty: 7 Essential Embraces to Launch Life’s Radical Second Half, and the subsequent “Holy Hell! Now I’ve gotta live by this philosophy!”awareness that took me over (and out) for several months, I’m now waking up to smell the midlife coffee. That dog of “work hard” ethic just don’t hunt any more.

That’s not to say the aspirations have dried up. It’s just to say that Divining that well is now going to come from a playful (vs workful) source.

Playing for “One Day/Someday” Today

The Back Forty: 7 Essential Embraces to Launch Life’s Radical Second Half is chocked full of a huge array of midlife self-examination and reevaluation questions – kind of like a midlife makeover – and one of the exercises in particular had me wake up in terms of my goals and dreams.

In this exercise, called the “Top Ten Regrets”, you imagine finding out that you won’t be on the planet much longer, like your personal “bye-bye” time is almost here.

We don’t usually live like we could be outta here at any moment, but that happens! And my belief is that a lot of regrets go with us because we didn’t take committed action on those things that matter most while we were still healthy and functioning in life.

So, in this exercise you look at the regrets you’d have if you were all of a sudden – “POOF” – now on your way to what follows this earthly experience and how, with time still on your hands, you might finally take action on those “one-day” and “someday” dreams and goals NOW!

You know, the pull of the moment and all those alligators nipping at our heels in daily life makes a big case – in our own mind – for continuing to delay those “one-day” and “someday” goals and dreams. It’s hard to take the time, right?

I get it! But that “Top Ten Regrets” exercise in The Back Forty has woken me up to make the timefor those goals and dreams even when I don’t think I have the time.

What are the Top Ten Regrets you’d have if you were to move on from this life unexpectedly in the near future?

And what is one – only ONE – “one day/someday” goal that, were you to get into action around it with the support of others in the coming year would have you live a bit more regretlessly?

It’s now time for that “one day/someday” goal of yours.

The Back Forty Big Game Play Project

Taking into account some of the main ideas I’ve been sharing in these several weeks of “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Notes, namely that:

• “Living” The Back Forty means constant growth, fuller Self-expression and Becoming.

• Big dreams come into fruition by living into the gaps that we actively create for ourselves between
  who and where we are right now and who and where we’ve declared that we want to Be
.
• Our hopes and dreams just can’t and won’t happen on our own. Becoming is a team sport!

• We participate with others such that we can become a better player in some modality, and we do so
  in a group environment made up of others also seeking to uplevel their ability to play.

• Hey, play beats work any day. Both you and I have “worked” very hard most of our lives!

You’re now the first to know: in the next few weeks, I’ll be organizing an exclusive group of folks to join together in bringing their “one day/someday” goals and dreams into reality TODAY (or, at least in the New Year).

The co-created “game” that we’ll be playing in together is “The Back Forty Big Game Play Project.”

If 2023 is your year to move those goals out of “someday” into your present life, stay tuned in the coming days and weeks for more info and an opportunity to join this small exclusive group.

And, in the meantime, if you’d like to be first to know, first in line, and first to stick your toe in the water, benefit from a complimentary “PlayGame” coaching session with me this week to explore what your 2023 Big Game will be. Schedule a time HERE after grabbing a copy of The Back Forty.


Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

Again, if you missed any of PART I through PART V, see them HERE.

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

– Henry David Thoreau
Nov 09

November 9, 2022 – JOLT – Part V: The Call of Becoming

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“More than ever before in human history, we share a common destiny. We can master it only if we face it together.”

Kofi Annan

 

PART V: Been out of touch, but I was answering the call of Becoming

Did you miss my last “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Notes from the last few weeks? See PART I through Part IV HERE and, if they speak to you, follow them up with the fifth installment below. Thanks for your interest in “Becoming”.

Becoming: A Team Sport

Do you play any sports? Did you play any when growing up?

If not sports, were you in the high school band (like me)? Or was it a Dungeons & Dragons group?

In any of these, either years ago or now, we participate with others such that we can become a better player in some modality, and we do so in a group environment made up of others also seeking to uplevel their ability to play.

That’s just the way it goes. We can practice, practice, practice on our own and, for sure, grow in our skills (like the young Michael Jordon shooting baskets all night). But “Becoming” takes place in the presence and with the engagement of others.

We Don’t Become Alone

Through the multi-year and multi-phase process of bringing out The Back Forty: 7 Essential Embraces to Launch Life’s Radical Second Half, though I didn’t notice it at the time, I became very comfortable tucked safely away in my cave of deep thought and ponderance.

Though I don’t claim any credit for the ideas presented – as I’ve said, the book was written by me and for me but not from my own, well-worn “figuring out” identity: the book simply downloaded through me– I will say that it set for me a high bar for creating the second half of my life as the best half.

Maybe some writers write from all that they already know and demonstrate in their lives. I, on the other hand, feel that a Higher aspect of my Self had a hand in the formation and ideation that resulted in the final form of The Back Forty.

After all the mechanics of finalizing the message, wrapping it in a cover and publishing it out into the world, I experienced a case of post-publication hibernation. I think it was a combination of the depth of vulnerability and authenticity demanded of the book but also, now on the backend, the challenge to actually walk the talk of The Back Forty in my own life. . .which seems to be a dauntingly high bar.

Fortunately, I remembered what was so fortuitously foretold near the end of the book, p. 425, under the heading “Community”: “An essential of true Back Forty community is accountability. Unless you’re supported to get outside of your Front Forty comfort zones and take bold steps while engaging in cutting-edge, second half [of life] thinking, you’ll fall prey to your old Front Forty ways and your entrenched Incredible Shrinking World.”

For those who have yet to grab the book, what it’s basically saying is that no matter how much you want to Become more than you currently are, you can’t and won’t do it alone.

That means that those “one day I will. . .” projects and goals, those “when I get around to it” good intentions and plans, those “someday I’ll. . .” hopes and dreams just can’t and won’t happen on our own. Becoming is a team sport!

Thankfully, with the support of friends and fellows along the path of Becoming in their own ways, I began stepping outside of the cozy comfort of my publication cave so as to get on the Becoming Team playground again.

If you’ll remember from Part II, the second installment of this series from October 19 (which you can see here): “Big dreams come into fruition by living into the gaps that we actively create for ourselves between who and where we are right now and who and where we’ve declared that we want to Be. Closing that gap by Becoming is what allows us to reach those goals.”

I’ll pause once more in this series of (hopefully) digestible installments and leave you with a question:

If 2023 was your year to Become the person necessary to fulfill on those projects and goals, good intentions and plans, hopes and dreams that you’ve put off until “someday,” where would you find a community of others to support and enable you to Become that while they Become that for themselves?

Ponder that and stay tuned for Part VI next week: “Shall We Truly Play Again?”

And, in the meantime, if you’re the type that likes to be first to know, first in line, and first to stick their toe in the water, I invite you to spend 25min with me personally this week to explore what your 2023 Big Game would look like. Schedule a time HERE.

Stay tuned and thanks for listening.


Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

Again, if you missed any of PART I through PART IV, see them HERE.

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”

– Helen Keller
Nov 02

November 2, 2022 – JOLT – Part IV: The Call of Becoming

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

Lao Tzu

PART IV: Been out of touch, but I was answering the call of Becoming

Did you miss my last “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Notes from the last few weeks? See PART I through Part III HERE and, if they speak to you, follow them up with the fourth installment below. Thanks for your interest in “Becoming”.

Every Step You Take

In last week’s installment I mentioned that the Becoming I’m living into now is living The Back Forty. Here’s a bit more detail on that.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are offering advice and support for someone else and you have the thought “Wow, that’s pretty good stuff that just came out of my mouth! I should implement that myself!”?

Well, as mentioned before, The Back Forty: 7 Essential Embraces to Launch Life’s Radical Second Half was written by me and for me to begin a new life path after facing a particularly challenging midlife “opportunity” (namely, a half-million-dollar custody suit). It was at a time when I needed a complete reevaluation of where my life had come to thus far and where it might go if I were to embrace seven particular elements:
Past
Present
Gifts
Values
Initiation
Purpose
A Presence

Guess what? It was some darn good Higher-Self advice that downloaded on paper into what became 1) my own roadmap for turning around my own midlife ship’s course direction, 2) a helpful guide for others who became privy to this message through personal sharing and programs offered pre-publication, and 3) eventually this new whopper (552 pages!) of a midlife Self-help manifesto!

Here’s the deal though: like I said, we can all be erudite and sage in our advice and guidance for others but it’s a totally different ballgame when faced with living by those Higher-level principles and direction. Mea culpa: I’m faced with living by The Back Forty as well, even though it’s my own book written by me and for me! Yet, it’s a challenge I’m excited to pursue.

For example, there are many exercises and surveys in the book which have the reader discover the limitations and weight of carrying “the past” in terms of living their desires TODAY, in the present. You know, the childhood trauma or bad relationship that left scars, or the time when that project or business catastrophe occurred, which left you avoiding sticking your neck out again or taking risks.

Hey, we’ve all carried our past a looooooong time, so not the easiest to drop in a flash! The exercises, however, give the reader a formula by which to transform anything and everything from “the past” and even “the present” (you know, the gunk that’s going on even right now in your life) into the best thing that could ever happened to you. (I know, hard to believe. . .but it’s been proven to work!)

Another example: there’s a section in the book where the reader gets to look into the regrets they would have if their life were to end fairly soon. We don’t really consider on a daily basis the fact that we’re going to exit the planet at some point. Therefore, we allow ourselves to carry around a lot of undistinguished (and blind to us) regrets. After discovering those hidden regrets, this exercise ends with an opportunity to counter those regrets in real time, like beginning NOW, so that we won’t eventually die with those regrets still intact. In the book, I call those beginning NOW commitments “Rejoices.”

Here’s just a few of my own regrets-turned-rejoices:
1) Begin acting again. (I gave it up 26 years ago after becoming a single dad when too busy to head out for auditions.)
2) Begin playing my trumpet again. (I stopped that altogether after high school, even though I still have that gleaming Stradivarius in its case.)
3) Move towards a career involving the interviewing of others and sharing their stories.
4) A deeper relationship with my son.
5) Karaoke on a weekly (if not more even frequently) basis!

Some of you may remember the 1984 Best Song of the Year which had the following lyrics:

Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you
Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you

And how does what I’ve shared relate to this? Because just like the song states, I’m having to watch MYSELF on whether I’m living up to the commitments I’ve made to actually have my second half of life be my best half, which is the overall intent of The Back Forty.

OK, I’ll again put a pause on this multi-installment update and thank you for your interest in my (as well as possibly your own?) Becoming that’s taking place.

Next week, in Part V, “Becoming: A Team Sport” I’ll share with you one of the realizations I’ve had about the challenge of Becoming on a solo basis vs with the support and championing of others.

Stay tuned and thanks for listening.


Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

Again, if you missed any of PART I through PART III, see them HERE.

“Each step you take reveals a new horizon. You have taken the first step today [by reading this email]. Now I challenge you to take another.”

Dan Poynter
Oct 26

Octobr 26, 2022 – JOLT – Part III: The Call of Becoming

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The system is not working. That is how a paradigm shift begins: the established way of seeing the world no longer functions.”

Matthew Fox

PART III: Been out of touch, but I was answering the call of Becoming

Did you miss my last “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Notes from the last two weeks? See PART I and Part II HERE and, if they speak to you, follow them up with the third installment below. Thanks for your interest in “Becoming”.

Turning Talk Into Walk

In the case of my previous big goal and 20-year journey of birthing The Back Forty, and perhaps because of the sheer volume of raw, revealing and authentic exposure required in the process, after a few months of running on the prescribed treadmill that generally follows the publishing of a book – speaking events, guesting on podcasts, semi-or full-blown book tour, interviews, etc. – I realized that I had to just STOP. I simply couldn’t go forward in the way I had “been.” I saw that a whole new paradigm of Becoming (“Being”) was now necessary in my post-partum life as the book’s parent.

My favorite definition of paradigm is:
• a framework containing the basic assumptions, ways of thinking, and methodology that are commonly accepted by members of humanity.

The book, The Back Forty, gives a deep and thorough roadmap and midlife-makeover reevaluation for individuals feeling the need to repurpose their life. In its somewhat stealth introduction to the world a few months ago, it garnered notice by Midwest Book Review as “a perfectly timed tool for reevaluation brought on by ‘The Great Resignation’ occurring in today’s world economy.” It supports a reevaluation of many of the biggest aspects of our lives, including limiting beliefs, meaningful careers, self-expression, play, passion and purpose.

In truth, the book was initially written by me and for me in support of a new lease on life after a particularly harrowing midlife opportunity (nee “crisis”). Yet, that Midwest Book Review points to the fact that the book apparently fits today’s life and times as well, when many individuals are looking for direction on meaning and purpose.

After screaming, scratching and clawing that book out of the birth canal –even though I had already transformed in many ways over the years to actually be ready to birth it – a next level of Becoming stared me right in the face. (NOTE: Though I don’t purport to know what true childbirth feels like, I can speak for the resistance that can show up when one is birthing a big project). And that’s the Becoming I’m living into now: living The Back Forty.

What does it mean to “live” The Back Forty? In short, it means to be freed up from the weight of past and present limitations and self-conceptions, to clearly grasp the unique and incredible expression of Self that I Am (and that You Are), and to cultivate a second half of life to fulfill on the reason for which I exist (for which I lived a first half of life conducting R & D, research and development). It means constant growth, fuller Self-expression and Becoming.

Matter of fact, my favorite line in the book comes from the back cover: “You are never who you ‘are’ or who you’ve been. You are who you’re Becoming.”

Again, in appreciation of your time, I’ll end here for today and continue next week with the forward movement coming from my hiatus of Becoming: PART IV, “Every Step You Take”. Stay tuned and thanks for listening.


Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

Again, if you missed PART I or PART II, see them HERE .
Oct 19

October 19, 2022 – JOLT – Part II: The Call of Becoming

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”

– Anna Quindlen

PART II: Been out of touch, but I was answering the call of Becoming

Did you miss my last “I’M BAAAAACK!” JOLT Note last week? See PART I HERE and, if it speaks to you, follow it up with the second installment below. Thanks for your interest in “Becoming”.

The Call of Becoming

My new book that came out in February, The Back Forty: 7 Essential Embraces to Launch Life’s Radical Second Half, funnily enough, is actually all about what’s going on with me right now: a personal evolution of sorts.

As many of you who like to be as project-oriented and single-focused as me, once a long-sought, long-fought and inspired project is birthed, there’s a new level to be acknowledged and dealt with. I call it “Becoming”.

It’s kind of backwards: it’s not that we somehow “become” and then go out as whatever we say we’ve chosen to Be, but first we need to declare who we want to Be and then step into the “becoming process” of that.

When we take on the fulfillment of big goals and dreams in life, we must rise to the occasion internally to align with what and whom that new goal or dream requires us to Be. To have a goal become a reality in our life, we must develop the mental and emotional “energy equivalent” on the inside so that the goal is accomplished on the outside. It’s the internal alignment of energy which draws that dream or goal into reality. As the saying goes, “As within, so without.”

First, we declare it (our goal, dream, who we want to become, etc.). Then, in doing so, we initiate our process of Becoming it.

Big dreams come into fruition by living into the gaps that we actively create for ourselves between who and where we are right now and who and where we’ve declared that we want to Be. Closing that gap by Becoming is what allows us to reach those goals. Interestingly, the person at the end of that goal achievement has “become” a completely different human being than the one who first envisioned it.

Writing The Back Forty was, in effect, the declaration part of Becoming for me. And, WHOOOO Boy (!), the Becoming gaps have been revealed in droves! (That’s good news. . .because I’m not going to Become it and those dreams aren’t going to materialize until those gaps are closed.)

I appreciate your time, so I’ll end here for today and continue next week with the “rubber meets the road” of PART III, “Turning Talk Into Walk”. Stay tuned and thanks for listening.


Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

Again, if you missed last week’s PART I, see it HERE.

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”

– John Wooden
Oct 12

October 12, 2022 – JOLT – Answering the Call of Becoming

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“It’s not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.”

– Jack Benny

Been out of touch, but I was answering the call of Becoming

The Weird Intro

This may be the weirdest update I’ve put out in my over 10 years of pretty-much weekly JOLT Note newsletters. . .but who said weird is a bad thing? I’m learning it’s not.

I do know that reading time is at a premium for all of us, so this update will likely come in sequels. First installment below. . .and, if what I write is of interest and might support you, stay tuned. (Maybe I’m not alone in what I’ll share.)

New Management

You haven’t heard from me for a while because, frankly, after completing a 20-year project of bringing out my last book in the spring — though I carried on “as usual” for a few months until late May – an expiration of the old “me” and a not-yet-sorted-out emergence of a new “me” prevented the sending of the same ‘ol same ‘ol weekly email.

So, in late May, the “me” that was then running the show took a pause from this decade-long weekly newsletter. And, at this point, I’m honestly not sure what forms or consistency it will have going forward under the “new management” but I’m at least sending out a smoke signal that life still exists over here and I invite you to stay tuned.

The Necessary Pause

I’m not sure if this communicates as I’d like it to, but an individual (namely, me) can’t really offer consistent and congruent communications when the entity at the source (namely, me) is in flux. And, as you’ll read in the coming weeks, it’s been a fluxathon!

I’m reaching out to reconnect and share with you a bit about the evolvement of the new me that is turning his walk into his talk. So, I’ll be opening up with you more personally than I have in the past and going a more naked and vulnerable route.

And know this: if you choose to hang with me for the evolution and emergence of the new me coming on board here in this newsletter (and in my service and contributions as a whole), at least you’ll be clued in to what’s happening behind the scenes.

Earnestly: I appreciate you having been a reader for however long that’s been and if what the emerging “me” has to say contributes to you and your own career and life evolvement, that’s awesome and always my wish.

I’ll end here for today and continue next week with the deeper subject matter that I want to convey, “The Call of Becoming”. Stay tuned and thanks for listening.


Think differently, play better.

Radically,

Darrell
CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier

“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn’t end.”

– Michelle Obama
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