Category Archives for "Blog"

March 18, 2018, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day……and Connecting!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years mere study of books.” –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

First, let’s include women in the above quote, as well as ten years mere study of the internet?

One of the many principles I teach in my book “Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest” is to connect with others anywhere and everywhere because you never know who is around you, what they know and who they know.

In a very social-media/smart-phone society, it’s easy to get so caught up in the electronic connections in our hand that we don’t hold that same hand out to meet someone sitting right beside us at the coffee shop.

Yet, when we do, we can be amazed at what the Universe brings us: someone in a field in which we needed information; a contact into a company or potential client; a fellow hobby enthusiast; a possible business or life partner; a new friend; etc.

Often, when we finally get clear and set our sites on something we want in life, little do we realize that we actually put out an invisible request into the ethers…to which we get responses in quick and uncanny ways.

The big hump to get over, for some, is how to initiate that social contact when everyone’s head is down into their text, pad or laptop. Yet, if you don’t find a reason to get talking, then they, all they know, and all that they are connected to simply doesn’t get tapped into.

What are they wearing that you notice? What’s a compliment you can give based on their appearance? What’s a state of the environment you can comment on (“Beautiful day, isn’t it?”)? What piece of technology is in their hand that you can ask about (“Is that the new iPhone?”)?

It’s worth it to work the muscle of old-fashioned conversation. You never know who is being put in your way to help make your day.

Got contact?

With synchronicity, all the resources we need are made available for us at the precise moment that is appropriate. The people who come into our lives are the ones we need at that moment in time. Everything is perfect. We only need to recognize this to tune into the flow. Everything happens for a reason and every experience is a learning experience.” –Alex Chu

March 11, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day……Play Game

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” –Martin Luther King

There’s an oft-quoted phrase used in many personal development realms: “Ready! Fire! Aim!” It’s meant to shake up the old paradigm of having all your ducks in a row before you act.

Many of us can logically understand, in today’s quick-obsolescence, immediate-upload/update world, why it is smart to at least get started. We would love to just get out there and take a chance, “go for it”, and give it a try. It’s too bad that our psyches often fight us all the way.

Most of us grew up in an educational system that awarded us for getting the right answer vs. thinking creatively or taking a risk. Therefore, our internal wiring is built around trying to have all the potential variables and risks worked out before we go live with anything: an idea, a new career direction, a dream project.

“Don’t move forward until it’s safe” is what the inner voice says…as if there will one day be “safety.”

In the software development world, the terms and methods of “agile” and “scrum” are used to move projects forward one bit at a time, using short, immediate feedback and upgrade cycles, vs. the old days when you waited a year or so for a Version 2.0 to come out.

This model might serve us well in our own ramping up for anything beyond mediocrity and complacency.

I support clients through PlayGame CoachingTM in the outlandish idea of getting onto the playing field and beginning to play FIRST — and THEN working out the kinks from what we learn in the process — it’s fascinating to see the sense of freedom that comes over people when letting go of that old, ducks-in-a-row wiring.

Many sensible folks might warn you and me to spend more time on the drawing board or countless hours in planning mode with our new body of work, our bold business initiative, or our inspired change for self betterment. Time to choose: old wiring, or re-wiring?

Got Fire?

“A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” –General George Patton

March 4, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day……March Forth

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness.” –Les Brown

It’s been said that we interface with our lives and the world around us in one of four escalating levels of consciousness.

At a basic level, which we can recognize in ourselves and others at different points of life, is “TO ME”…the idea that we are interacting with a world of experience coming at us, happening to us. This level has us being more at the effect of the world vs. having much say in life (aka, victim).

A level up would be to live in a mode of “BY ME”, which has us feeling more at cause of what occurs in our lives. We have all heard and lived by the phrases “Make it happen”, “If not me, who? If not now, when?” and even “Get ‘er done!”

Yet another step up the scale is “THROUGH ME”, whereby we begin to acknowledge perhaps a bigger intention or game plan working itself out through us as simply the conduit…or, you might say, us being simply the spear carrier in the opera of something bigger than us. We’ve all experienced life when things seem to simply line up or we are met with greased slides everywhere we turn.

Finally, there is the possibility of operating from the perspective of life and the world occurring “AS ME”, when we are clear that we are so aligned, purposeful and in tune that the lines between us and the world start to blur. Some athletes and entertainers have called this state “in the zone.” There’s a sense of only Oneness happening.

This seems to be a great path to march forth in building a dream, don’t you think? Where might you uplevel yours this week?

Got uplevelment?

“The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.” –Lao Tzu

February 25, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day……Early Bird Tuition Ends

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt, but in spite of doubt.” –Rollo May

Ever look at a completed book, listen to a beautiful composition, engage in an empowering educational or personal development program, or observe a flourishing business and think “Wow, how did this come about? What incredible mind was behind designing this? How could I ever [fill in the blank] like they did?”

We see things in their final or evolving forms and are sometimes inspired to create our own [fill in the blank]. At other times, we observe what has already been created and think “Well, if that’s already out there, then I have nothing to add…” OR “…there’s no need for my version of it…” OR “…there’s no way I could ever bring something to that point of perfection” and we take no action.

It’s been said that we should never compare our insides to someone else’s outsides, meaning that just because you see someone appearing finished and polished on the outside doesn’t mean that they don’t have the same mish-mosh of doubts, fears, or insecurities as we do going on inside themselves.

They may have been, or currently be, exactly where we are, and yet do it/create it/build it anyhow. So, we shouldn’t think of them as supernatural, nor ourselves as super incapable.

When it comes to bringing a dream career/initiative/project/business to fruition, there’s only one way to fulfill on it, and it’s the same way you eat an elephant: one bite at a time.

A great teacher once said to the student “There’s absolutely no way you can do this wrong, and no matter how hard you try, it’s absolutely impossible to do it right. You will simply do it the way you do it.”

If you couldn’t do [fill in the blank] wrong, and yet it was impossible to do it right, what actions would you take to fulfill on your dream this week?

Got [fill in the blank]?

“You’re just sort of searching for this ‘thing’ and sometimes you get it and sometimes you don’t. All music is imperfect, but in jazz since you’re improvising, at least the way I play, I’m trying to follow my train of thought.” –John Abercrombie

February 18, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…via Appreciation

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” –Oscar Wilde

Appreciation, on the one hand, means gratitude and thankful recognition. Yet, just as with property, it means the growth in value of something.

The cool thing is that we can actually be on the cause side of increasing the value of something vs. it just happening on its own.

Many of us have realized that our focus of attention on what we want to see more of, the experiences we most want to have, and the feelings and thoughts we most want to entertain (in our jobs, relationships, life) can bring more of those desired states about.

Similarly, when we look for what we can most appreciate in any area of our life, including our work and relationships, we actually increase the value of those aspects. We get what we proactively see, as opposed to simply seeing what we get.

Even if this isn’t the be all, end all [job, career, relationship, physical location, body, etc.], what one element of it can you focus on today to grow in value?

Appreciation allows us to be as close to be all, end all as we can until be all, end all comes…and it probably comes a lot faster than when we “be all” discontented with ourselves, others and life in general.

Got appreciation?

“By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you’ve achieved — and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses — you actually can enhance everything about you. Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.” — Jack Canfield

February 11, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…and Productivity 2

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one’s work seriously and taking one’s self seriously. The first is imperative and the second is disastrous.”  –Margot Fonteyn

Digging further into the idea of productivity and what supports or impedes its growth, we might turn our eyes toward the guard tower.

But not the guard tower outside as much as the one inside.

Growing up in a western-industrial mindset, with the inherent need to have some kind of product to show in exchange for every ounce of time and effort, for many of us the internal stopwatch-keeper looms bigger than any outside entity.

It’s not like we want to end up without “something to show for it”…and yet the overall, internal pressure can very often most result in anxiety, stress, and an overall unattractive disposition. (Well, it may be “attractive”, as all dispositions are, but not attracting what we want.)

Creativity in our work and life, be it in the artistic/great idea sense or even the magnetizing-of-good-stuff-coming-to-us sense, doesn’t thrive too well in a tight and unforgiving environment.

I recently heard someone say that, as humans, we are often either 1) on our own side or 2) on our own case.

Maybe we could all use a little dropping the guard to keep it light and playful?

Choose: on your own side, or on your own case.

Got guardlessness?

“Life’s better when it’s fun. Boy, that’s deep, isn’t it?”  –Kevin Costner

February 4, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…and Productivity

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Productivity – the amount of output delivered per hour of work in the economy – is often viewed as the engine of progress in modern capitalist economies. Output is everything. Time is money. The quest for increased productivity occupies reams of academic literature and haunts the waking hours of C.E.O.s and finance ministers.”  Tim Jackson

It’s worth a look to examine our hours vs. output mentality.

The world we grew up in said eight hours was a workday. But that was only since Henry Ford went against business protocol in 1926 by cutting his workers’ days down from 10 hours.

He was criticized by the National Association of Manufacturers, as this was rocking the conventional boat. Yet, remember, he didn’t do it to be nice.

Ford had studied the effects of an eight-hour workday and a five-day workweek (vs. the six-day workweek, then the norm) and knew it increased productivity and lowered production costs.

A wise man. Nearly a century’s worth of studies later, following his unheard of proposition, every industry that has been studied has shown that maximum productivity occurs according to this schedule.

Another wise man in the gaming software development world, Evan Robinson, brought up this point several years ago to counter the tendency of having programmers crunch through projects by working ungodly hours. Robinson claimed that keeping programmers to the tried and true was just smart business due to more creativity and less mistakes.

Yet, how many of us can claim that our external (if employed) or internal (if unemployed or self-employed), stop-watch-wielding timekeeper, counting down our dutiful allotment knows what’s best? Face it, are we truly productive for eight hours a day??

The century of research may not take into account work involving the brain, decision-making, analysis, or creativity. Many cutting edge companies already realize this. If not associated with one of those innovative organizations, generally our internal and external programming (the voice in the head) demands us to put in the requisite time to, if necessary, squeeze productivity blood out of the turnip.

It may behoove those of us blessed to be off of the factory floor to re-examine our old “work” day and “work” week programming.

Even if in a standard 40-hour/week role, perhaps seeing how we can “manage up” to prove our own productivity pattern to the powers that be could serve us.

If we’re self-employed, it just comes down to having that power-that-be (ourselves) wake up and smell the coffee that hours doesn’t necessarily equate to more profits. Matter of fact, overwork over time actually results in what economists call diminishing returns.

Either way, I have a bold idea that hours and work become a background conversation when real passion is present.

Got passionate productivity?

“Productivity is being able to do things that you were never able to do before.” –Franz Kafka

January 28, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Care to Play?

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.” –Albert Einstein

If the rules of the game were to work hard, earn good grades, get the high paying job, keep the nose to the grindstone, move up, amass wealth, and then enjoy retirement…why did most of what seems like fun come at the end?

Our western, industrial-culture mindset doesn’t put a lot of emphasis on the ideas of play or, much less, playing a game. At least not where “work” is concerned.

Yet, in some continuing education I’m enjoying, I’m being impressed with the ideas of “play” and the concept of “playing a game” that can allow all of us to reach our goals on our own terms within far more enjoyable mental, emotional, spiritual and even physical environments.

In private engagements with clients, I’m bringing this idea to the forefront: that our objectives can be achieved more playfully inside a context of performing better as players in a game with a coach vs. sweat shop workers doing tasks and being managed.

How can you bring the spirit of play to dreams that mean the most to you right now?  How could you bring a game to it?

Got gamey?

“Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it. Life is a dream – realize it.” –Sai Baba

January 21, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…I Have a Dream

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Where there is no vision, there is no hope.” –George Washington Carver

I had a dream, or maybe I was waking from one. Yet, there was a sense of excitement…the kind that little kids have when it’s Christmas morning or their birthday. A feeling that good times and joyful things are coming.

I pondered in my waking grogginess “Oh, it’s Friday! Maybe that’s what I’m excited about?” Don’t we all have that sense of a pleasurable “break” on the way, regardless of when our particular “work week” ends?

Then, as I slowly awoke more fully, I thought “Wait, it’s not Friday, it’s Thursday”, which carries it’s own almost-there quality, doesn’t it?

But finally, I became completely alert and realized “Ha! It’s not Thursday, it’s not even Wednesday. It’s Tuesday!” I had to catch myself from saying “only” before Tuesday.

What if? Just what if each day were really so full of a Vision and a Dream being acted upon and fulfilled that we really DIDN’T know what day it was?

Did Martin Luther King concern himself with which days of the week he could take a “break”? Did Mother Theresa or Gandhi live for their “off” time?

And even beyond these luminaries, there are folks surrounding each of us right now who obviously live by an energy source beyond the 9 to 5, “work week” mindset. Who are they for you?

All this is not to discount recreation and the time needed to fill our tanks…yet what if it wasn’t the off time that we lived for but, rather, the “on” (top of a Vision and a Dream) time?

It’s easy to think that we are individually too small, too inconsequential, and too tied up in the minutia to have a Vision or a Dream. Then again, maybe we’re only a thought away from it?

Got “on” time?

“You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.” –Woodrow Wilson

Q & A
Media Source: DailyFinance.com
Topic: “Affording your dream job”

Reporter Query: “Did you quit a job to pursue a dream job? If you found your dream job, did you take a pay cut? Looking for people who gave up secure jobs to find their dream job, and what, if any, financial problems they had to deal with during the search and afterward. Financially, what did you give up and what did you gain during and after search? How did you deal with that?”

CareerGuy Response: “Hi Aaron, as to your query, my career is based in supporting folks to pursue and find meaningful work, aka dream jobs.  Sometimes folks indeed choose to forego some immediate financial reward for the sake of newly re-assessed values, which may rank their fulfillment and enjoyment at a higher weight than the finances.  However, I think it is a mistake for people to operate from the belief that if, indeed, they pursue their “dream” that they necessarily have to take a cut. Through the front-door of career transition, competing with everyone else out there for available openings, this is often true. However, I empower people to make transitions through a backdoor or “stealth” approach…which often nets them opportunities they could never access through the front door and rarely needing a “step back” in compensation. Here is just one example of someone making such a move that I spell out in my recent book, and because of the approach, she didn’t have to take a cut in compensation.

Miracle Move #1:  Clara, VP of Marketing for a major telecommunications company, wanted to make a change. Possessing a limited front door mentality, she assumed she could only transition into another marketing role, most likely with another telecom company. At this point in her career, her values had shifted substantially. She had a passion for her Jewish culture and had always wanted to do something related to Judaism, but was used to a big corporate paycheck and figured she’d have to take a deep cut—even IF she could qualify for anything in that field. This was all before she learned The Backdoor (“Stealth”) Job Search Method™. After a thorough process of career inventory, personal branding and packaging, she began connecting with people through the backdoor, which was not about her needing a job. Rather, she began forming relationships based upon research into her true interests and passions…one of which was Judaism. She ended up landing a position as the Executive Director of a non-profit organization that trains bomb-sniffing dogs for Israel.

January 14, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Freedom is man’s capacity to take a hand in his own development. It is our capacity to mold ourselves.” –Dr. Rollo May

If this new year is about anything, perhaps it can be about expanding our capacities.

For some, that might look like the development of dormant or latent talents, skills or passions to be expressed in the world.

For others, it may be the growth of internal characteristics such as the courage, trust or faith to pursue those dormant or latent talents, skills or passions.

For most of us, it’s a mixture of the two.

What’s your 2015 mix?

Got burgeoning capacities?

“It would be impossible to find a deeper sense of education in discovering and developing personal capacities, and training them so that they would connect with the activities of others.” –John Dewey