Category Archives for "Blog"

April 13, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Slow Inside Job

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.” –Mahatma Gandhi

The tortoise and hare story we grew up with is nostalgic and sentimental, but its message seems to relate to other times, before the advent of the busy-ness of modern life.

And yet at any time in history, the present “modern life” surely had the capability to be just as busy as today.

Perhaps it’s never the flurry or circumstances out there that determine our experience but, rather, the hurried-up conditions inside.

A lot has been said about the contrarian idea of slowing down to accomplish more.

We see things and experience moments we would have missed, and sometimes even recognize that the present offers everything we need right in front of us.

Where might you impact the outer experience through a slow, inside job?

Got slow inside job?

“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” –James Allen

April 6, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Lose-Ability

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Strength of a character isn’t always about how much you can handle before you break. Its also about how much you can handle after you’ve been broken.” –Robert Tew

Some believe winning is everything and, of course, if we have our choice, we will pick it any day over the alternative.

Yet, how can we know enough all the time to make the perfect and right moves all the time at the perfect and right moments to win…all the time?

If we we always win, we are probably not playing sequentially bigger games.

We can learn a lot in the process of winning, and yet there’s no stickability like the learning that comes when we don’t.

A cutting-edge executive of a start-up called in a project manager who had created a series of successful initiatives, a completely untainted record.

He was proud.

She told him that if he didn’t have a miserable failure in the next 6 months, he was fired.

What is an inititative so big there’s no way you can possibly deliver?  And when would now be the perfect time to initiate it?

Got lose-ability?

“Freedom lies at the heart of my willingness to lose everything” –Alanis Morissette

March 30, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Edge

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Things can fall apart, or threaten to, for many reasons, and then there’s got to be a leap of faith. Ultimately, when you’re at the edge, you have to go forward or backward; if you go forward, you have to jump.”–Yo-Yo Ma

Life can often become steady-as-she-goes without a whole lot of shaking up of the internal trees.

We can become hypnotized by the recurrant, past-based patterns that say “this is just the way it is.”

It takes a lot of effort to truly take ourselves to a whole new level of playing. It can be like moving a 10 ton boulder up a hill, and we often teeter on our edge of (current) reality.

Staying in the comfort zone never created a new paradigm.

Where might you take it to your perceived limits this week?

Got edge?

“Life is lived on the edge.” –Will Smith

March 23, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Crunchy

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“I want to be one of the guys, but I also want to be ‘the’ guy, the guy that can go out there and they can rely on in crunch time. I’m going to be the guy that they know will show up every day, every game, every play and show up on a consistently great level.” –Robert Griffin III

Who we be — or have the opportunity to be — when the going gets tough, or grueling, or pressured says a lot.

It’s been said that the greatest inspiration is the deadline.

It can also be the greatest test of what’s inside.

Whether we default to being “great” or, more likely, have the opportunity to develop that muscle, isn’t it a wonderful blessing to simply be able to get to that gym every now and then?

Got crunch time?

“I admire people who are good fighters, guts in a person. Not just keeling over when things go tough. It’s only when it comes to crunch time that people’s true character comes out.” –Virginia Wade

March 16, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Action Anyhow

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”  –Robert F. Kennedy

As we mature in life, all the “wisdom” we’ve gained can turn around on us and actually impede our growth. We can just stop trying certain things, new ideas, “risky” ventures.

Yoda has been misinterpreted in saying “Do or do not. There is no try”. Trying is not bad…because taking action at least gives us something to stand on, to learn by, and to move forward from in a particular direction.

Trying, taking a shot, going for it, diving in the deep end…they are all a form of DOing.

The point is, we have to start somewhere.

It’s just that to take the shot and go for it, we have to be willing to not know how it’s going to turn out.

“Wisdom” tells us to know ahead of time.

Where can we give ourselves the courage to step beyond our wisdom today and take an action anyhow?

Got action anyhow?

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”  –Franklin D. Roosevelt

March 9, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Grist

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“’Growing Stronger’ emerged from a need to relate my life experiences as well as my constant struggle to prevail each day, and as a reminder to myself of the importance of never giving up.”–Thalia

Giving up the dream, saying “it just wasn’t meant to be”, or letting circumstances and supposed self-limitations stop us is the easy route.

It’s what we do with the apparent challenges, abundant self-talk, and arising adversity that either profits or depletes us.

Farmers call produce which creates profit (e.g., corn) “grist” and bring it to the mill.

What if every single life experience we have can be seen as perfect and necessary to get us where we want to go?

Got grist for the mill?

“You can’t go into new life experiences without the understanding that yeah, you may fail, but knowing you might fail can’t stop you from trying.” –Alice Dreger

March 2, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…New Tricks

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether 20 or 80.” –Henry Ford

It’s what we don’t know that we don’t know that gets us.

It’s called a blind spot.

But it only gets us until we know that we don’t know it.

An executive coaching client said to me this week “I don’t have any confidence in how I react to people.”

I told him this was huge progress, because he used to have confidence…and the effect on others was damaging.

Often our blind spots are born from unquestioned belief systems arising from culture, family, and early incidences in life.

An examination of our personal dogma, though a road less traveled, is generally life altering.

Who says you can’t teach an old dogma new tricks?

Got new dogma?

“But once you have a belief system everything that comes in either gets ignored if it doesn’t fit the belief system or get distorted enough so that it can fit into the belief system. You gotta be continually revising your map of the world.” –Robert Anton Wilson

February 24, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Seeds and Water

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.” –Stephen R. Covey

Sometimes the exact same events, circumstances, situations or challenges — “the facts” — can be seen in an entirely new way. Even an empowering way.

The question is how to bring into our mind a perspective it’s not already acquainted with.

It’s been said that our perspectives on life and circumstances come from the cage we were held captive in.

So, many of us reach out for input so as to get seeds planted among the weeds of our existing “own best thinking”.

Every now and then, with watering, those new plantings overtake the weeds…and a personal discovery is born.

Got seeds and water?

“It is the obvious which is so difficult to see most of the time. People say ‘It’s as plain as the nose on your face.’ But how much of the nose on your face can you see, unless someone holds a mirror up to you?” –Isaac Asimov

February 17, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Monkey Vigilance

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The mind is a monkey, hopping around from thought to thought, image to image. Rarely do more than a few seconds go by in which the mind can remain single-pointed, empty.” –Dani Shapiro

The Chinese New Year began last week, the year of the monkey.

Those cute primates representing intelligence, activity and playfulness can also play massive games in our head.

A friend recently told me he no longer asks people “What’s happening?” but, rather, “What’s not happening?”…because he figures that what’s going on in peoples’ minds is rarely what’s actually occurring in the world.

Mark Twain said “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

Where can we discern for ourselves today what is really going on…vs. the monkey mind?

Got monkey vigilance?

“The hard work, you discover over the years, is in learning to discern between correct and incorrect anxiety, between the anxiety that’s trying to warn you about a real danger and the anxiety that’s nothing more than a lying, sadistic, unrepentant bully in your head.”  –Daniel B. Smith

February 10, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Gap Endurance

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Endurance is patience concentrated.” –Thomas Carlyle

It’s been said that concentration is a state when you put in 10 and get back 1…

compared to mastery, a state when you put in 1 and get back 10.

Therefore, in any new skill or project in which we engage, there’s a gap to be traversed.

Got gap endurance?

“The men who learn endurance, are they who call the whole world brother.” –Charles Dickens