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Dec 19

December 19, 2018 – JOLT – A holiday pat on your back (FREE DOWNLOAD)

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Consider what a long way you’ve come today.”– Unknown

In the midst of the holidays…

let’s not step over what came and went like a freight train: 2018!

On the back end of the year, it’s easy to simply set your sites on next month and the New Year.

However, though you may not always take much time to bask in your own successes, this may be the best time to acknowledge yourself for what you actually attempted and, at times, accomplished in 2018.

A solid inventory of the intentional movements you made over the past 12 months can be both refreshing and invigorating, serving to turbo-boost your goals ahead.

My holiday gift to you as a subscriber: please download and enjoy an acknowledgement process that can support you to tie a bow on the previous 12 months in such a way that you’re literally amazed at your awesomeness.

Many of us can be our own worst critics. At this celebratory and gratitude-filled time of the year, how about give yourself a gift of self-care time to really recognize how cool you are…and what you actually did get done.

Your self-appreciation can be your biggest New Year’s toast. Cheers!

Want to share with me your wins and/or plan for what’s next? Schedule a free 15min chat, or go herefor a menu of support services around everything from career to life goals. This will be your year. 

Got pack on your back?

“The fruit of your own hard work is the sweetest.”- Deepika Padukone

Dec 12

December 12, 2018 – JOLT – Check in for 2019 Goals? (EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT)

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Accountability breeds response-ability.” – Stephen Covey

It’s that time of year…

when we all start pondering grand ideas and splendid plans for the next 12 months.

Whether we have big changes or small tweaks in sight, it won’t be so much the good intentions as the structures we set in place that will ensure success.

Look, we’d all like to be living a fuller life, making greater contributions, experiencing more joy and prosperity. That’s why we make goals.

And yet, we’re all guilty of getting either too busy, too distracted, or too resigned about those goals to see them to fulfillment.

That’s where accountability and someone holding us to our commitments separates the New-Years-resolution dreamers from those truly becoming more of who they want to be and actually doing what they say they’ll do.

If you are reallyreallyREALLY committed to a big game in the new year, then get yourself a check-in buddy…or a whole group of them.

You show up one week having not done what you said you’d do, you might get a pass. You show up a second week in a similar state, and there could be some ‘splaining going on. But the excuses and reasons will only go so far.

Given we all want to achieve our goals but usually can’t be trusted to achieve them alone, maybe 2019 is the year to lock yourself in?

For those local to Southern California, there will be a pilot program accountability group starting up in January, with an introductory event happening next Monday. See all the details by clicking any link:
Meetup
LinkedIn
Facebook

Whether you’re joining us or creating a structure of your own, may the success of your 2019 goals be directly proportional to the time that your butt is on the line.

If you’d like support in the design of your new year big game, schedule a free 15min chat, or go here for a menu of support services around everything from career to life goals. You have the choice: play BIG.

Got check-in buddies?

“You either make yourself accountable or you will be made accountable by your circumstances.”- Unknown

Dec 05

December 5, 2018 – JOLT – Impacting the state of last thoughts

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“We may not be able to witness our own eulogy, but we’re actually writing it all the time, every day.”- Arianna Huffington

Sometimes having tough thoughts,

such as our passing, can serve us to live our lives fuller.

Though there’s no need to be maudlin, a brief imaginary visit to our funeral can give us an opportunity to design our now.

Day in, day out, it’s easy to get caught up in the immediacy of the moment, what has to be done, deadlines to meet, etc.

Yet, through briefly observing, in our imagination, what is said and who is saying it at our closing ceremonies, we can be reminded of who we want to be even in the midst of the doing.

As we come upon the ritual of “beginning again” — this year ending and another starting up — perhaps there’s no better time than the present to attend that funeral, take notes, and design how we might impact those speeches and eulogy by how we live the next twelve months.

If you’d like support in the design of your beginning again, schedule a free 15min chat, or go here for a menu of support services around everything from career to life goals. Write it the way you want it said.

Got eulogistic intentions?

“How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you.”- Boonaa Mohammed

Nov 28

November 28, 2018 – JOLT – How it’s been doesn’t determine how it will be…

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Don’t think about your errors or failures; otherwise, you’ll never do a thing.”- Bill Murray

There’s only a two letter difference…

between the words “be” and “been,” but a world of difference in terms of focus.

Focusing on how it’s “been” will never get us to how we would like it to “be.”

As we move toward the end of 2018, many of us will take time over the next few weeks to inventory the goals we’ve pursued for the past 11 months.

If they were met or exceeded, good for us! Time to set our sites higher. If the mark was missed, it’s time to learn from how it’s been but then focus on how we want it to be.

Guilt, self-criticism or any other form of self-judgment just delays the process. Been won’t get us to be.

As you assess your growth, learning opportunities, successes and missed marks — and even your race to the finish line for your 2018 goals — be informed by the “been” but shaped by the “be.”

If you’d like to chat about your “been” and “be,” schedule a free 15min chat, or go here for a menu of support services around everything from career to life goals. Your been for this year is the start of your being for the next. 

Got being over been?

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.”- T.S. Eliot

Nov 21

November 21, 2018 – JOLT – Is there a PRE in your Thanks Giving plans?

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.”- Melody Beattie

Giving thanks before the fact…

goes against our sensibilities of time and “reality.”

Think about it: we have a goal, an intention we want to fulfill, a project we want to bring to fruition…and we do all the things necessary to “make it happen.” (We are a very doing lot: us typical humans.)

So we do, and we send out our ships, and we wait until enough time passes to be able to assess — by receiving either positive, negative or no response back from the Universe — whether we can feel joyful and accomplished or disappointed and head back to the drawing board.

We even tell ourselves, based on a lifetime of ingrained, handed-down wisdom, to “not get our hopes up”…because, if we do, we even set ourselves up for such disappointment.

But just what if, to the chagrin of our sensibilities and wisdom, we actually allow ourselves to get our hopes up? What if, contrary to our concepts of time and order, we actually allow ourselves to be thankful before the scorecard comes in? To the extreme, what if we dance and celebrate even as the ship leaves port?

On the one hand, by doing so, in the parlance of the law of attraction, we surround any such venture with higher vibes than the default ones of uncertainty and doubt.

On the other hand, regardless of whether that ship comes back full or not, our experience in the intervening period is much more joyful and fulfilled while living in the space of gratitude.

Can you say “no lose proposition”?

So, the question is, what end-of-year or coming New Year project, goal or initiative are you willing to get your grateful hopes up for?

Even doing so now will propel you into actions that you may not have ventured otherwise.

Be thankful first. Then Do stuff after. 

Have a ship you’ve been wanting to send out for big winnings? Schedule a free 15min chat, or go herefor a menu of support services around everything from career to life goals. But give thanks for the answers coming even before you schedule that time with me.

Got PRE Thanks Giving?

“Say thank you in advance for what is already yours.”- Denzel Washington

Nov 14

November 14, 2018 – JOLT – No-lose decision-making wins every time.

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“There is no such thing as a good decision and a bad decision. There are only decisions. Make them, f*ck up, enjoy, repeat.”- Daniel Smith

Sometimes life gives us situations…

where we have dual but opposing commitments of equal importance.

It’s easy to get stuck and ruminate endlessly, weighing this path against that with all the methods we’ve learned: the Ben Franklin pro-con list, various business analysis techniques, and even emotional guidance testing.

We talk to others to get opinions and feedback from trusted friends, aware of our life, sensibilities and circumstances.

Making the “right” decision becomes the focus.

However, if we hold life as always on our side and guiding us to grow — with choices, options, opportunities, and challenges — then there is never a “wrong” decision, but simply different paths going the same direction.

What we see or experience on one path may look or feel different from the other, but we’re going to get to the same place if we’re clear where we want to go.

The experience we have depends on the attitude we put toward the path we’re on.

What if there is no such thing as a bad decision. However, we do get more struggle and pain when making a decision a bad one.

Looking back, where can you find the blessings in the tough decisions you’ve made, no matter what the “outcome” was?

Looking forward, where can you find the courage and trust to make another tough one?

Need a trustworthy ear? Schedule a free 15min chat, or go here for a menu of support services around everything from career to life. Decisions, tough as they may be, get you on the game field…which is a lot better than sitting on the sidelines.

Got no lose decision-making?

“For good-intentioned people making decisions, there’s no such thing as a bad choice. So it doesn’t matter what you choose. Choose something, then deliberately line up with the choice you make. This is the art of alignment and allowing.”- Esther Hicks

Oct 24

October 24, 2018 – JOLT – God shots, or potshots: you choose.

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Every unexpected change is an opportunity for something wonderful.” – Unknown

Getting, or not getting, what we expect…

is easy because it was at least on our radar. We either nailed it, or we didn’t.

It’s those unexpected shots from life that are more challenging to assimilate.

We know there’s something to learn when we either hit or miss a known target, but it’s those unforeseen challenges come from out of the blue that are harder to hold as “learning and growth opportunities.”

It’s as if we think that we alone know what our best path for growth is, how we’ll most quickly reach our next level, and in what ways our greatest self-expression is to be accomplished.

Enter: Life!

Though the seeming suckiness factor is great when an unexpected change/character/situation/ circumstance enters the scene, these unforeseen visitors can be even more life-forwarding and revolutionary than anything planned. It all depends on the general world view we operate from.

Einstein said that everyone must make a basic choice about their relationship to life: “I live in a friendly Universe” or “I live in an unfriendly Universe.” Whether you’ve actively made the choice doesn’t matter because, at some level, you’re operating from one belief or the other.

And, it’s that choice which determines how we hold those unexpected “gifts” that life sends our way.

A friendly Universe will only give us that which is, in the end (and despite immediate appearances), for our highest and greatest good.

An unfriendly Universe will simply screw with us in any old random way it chooses.

Today, this week, and definitely in the upcoming Holiday season, life will give you plenty of opportunities to greet the unexpected. Will they be welcomed like blessings, or endured like burdens.

Choose!

Want to embrace some expected and unexpected changes you’d like to make before the new year? Schedule a free 15min chat, or go here to see a menu of services. The unexpected can’t take you down when you’re actively prepared for it.

Got unexpected blessings?

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”- Alan W. Watts

Oct 17

October 17, 2018 – JOLT – Willing to accept a mulligan?

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“If you are still breathing, you have a second chance.”- Oprah Winfrey

In life, mulligans can be hard to come by…

not only from others, but from ourselves.

A “mulligan” is a term for a free shot, used in golf to replay a bad shot with no penalty.

Professionally, it’s not allowed. But, in casual play, mulligans speed up the game by reducing the time spent searching for a lost ball, decreasing frustration and increasing enjoyment of the game because a player can “shake off” a bad shot more easily with a second chance.

If you’re playing at life “professionally,” then you probably don’t expect or take mulligans very easily when a minor mistake or unfortunate happenstance occurs.

However, if you’re simply a “player,” doing his or her best to gain mastery while, first and foremost, enjoying whatever game you’re up to — in career, relationships, dreams development, etc. — then a compassionate mulligan here and there is refreshing.

I’ve often coached my clients that, to the degree they want to grow, their level of self-compassion must match it. That’s because, if you’re dreaming and playing big, you’d better expect to face challenges and seeming mistakes.

The ability to shake them off and simply keep playing — vs the paralysis of analysis of searching for the lost ball — has you keep moving towards mastery while having a lot more fun in the game.

So, choose: are you a professional, or a player? It may be different for each game you’re playing.

At some point, you may decide to go “pro.” But just consider the amount of enjoyment and playful skill development you may lose if you do so too soon.

Be a player at every opportunity…and accept or claim your mulligans gratefully.

What games are you up to? Want some coaching on your swing? Are you even swinging? Click Here to schedule a free 15min chat, or here to see a menu of services. Be a player, vs simply watching from the crowd of fans.

Got mulligan worthiness?

“Every second a seeker can start over, for his life’s mistakes are initial drafts and not the final version.”- Sri Chinmoy

Oct 03

October 3, 2018 – JOLT – Are you rethinking before “necessary”?

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“I like situations that force me to rethink things.”- Marc Almond

It would be so nice…

if it didn’t take certain situations, events or circumstances to force us to reconsider our version of reality.

But, the way life generally goes is “If the truth fits, wear it.”

It’s a real challenge — and seemingly unnecessary one (?) — to actively question what we hold to to be true about [her], [him], [them], [it]…and, the biggest challenge of all, [me].

Yet, all of us accept certain challenges when there’s a possible payoff, a big potential reward for letting go of the comfort zone.

Not to get dark, but there’s a sobering story by Leo Tolstoy of a lawyer, Ivan Ilych, who didn’t question until his deathbed “What if my whole life has been wrong?”

That possibility alone — avoiding such a late wake-up call — is enough of a payoff, isn’t it?

But, to get traction, let’s start with the easy stuff…before moving on to tougher challenges.

Look at the people you work with or hang around today: what can you question of what you hold to be true?

Are the folks at the coffee shop actually friendly and want to chat, if you just make an overture? Is that person down the hall actually a worthwhile human being, if you just discover so by learning something personal about him/her?

Making even little inroads like these gives us the muscle to then start handling the bigger weights like…

If I treat my spouse or significant other like a mystery, what might I discover about them?

If I question what I hold to be true about my parents or kids, how might I see them differently?

If I wasn’t so believing of my Personally-Impossible List, what new directions, actions, or bold moves might I take?

Preemptively asking “What if I have it all wrong?” might be the most right move you can make.

Need a wingman as you ask that question of yourself? Click Here to schedule a free 15min chat, or here to see a menu of services. Trust me: you’re far more capable than you know. 

Got preemptive rethink?

“Change can be frightening, and the temptation is often to resist it. But change almost always provides opportunities – to learn new things, to rethink…and to improve…” – Klaus Schwab


Sep 26

September 26, 2018 – JOLT – Agile up your attitude…

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Agile is an attitude, not a technique with boundaries. An attitude has no boundaries.”- Alistair Cockburn

The ever more popular…

product development and project management technique — Agile — can be a great model for living.

For the less-techies like me, Agile Project Management (APM) is an iterative approach to planning and guiding project processes which began in the software development field. An Agile project is completed in small sections, and insights gained from the feedback of an iteration are used to determine what the next step should be.

More and more fields have adopted this attitude which encourages movement, actions and “first shots” out the door as a way to not only counter perfectionism and the paralysis of analysis, but to actually create the best product faster.

In life, how often are we waiting to cross every t and dot every i before we just get started…on an idea, a dream, a wild-hair hunch?

An Agile attitude would have us take a bit of time to gather some initial information, for sure, but too much time in the weeds could have us never get on the road.

Kaihan Krippendorff, an Agile expert, says “Great ideas don’t die in the market, they die in the shower. People are too scared to pursue them because they appear crazy.”

Considering the marketplace of your life — what you’ll “buy” for yourself in terms of career, goals, personal plans and purposeful pursuits — how many ideas are washing down the drain before even getting a road test?

It’s been said that life is too short for erasers. Just draw a line through it and move on. But you have to make some kind of mark first.

Inside of what goal, personal project or dream can you make a movement forward today? After you’ve done that 25 times in the next month, only then seek feedback. Right now, it’s about movement!

Want to save a “crazy” idea before it goes down the drain? Click Here to schedule a free 15min chat, or here for a full menu of services. The conversation itself may be your first-shot movement forward.

Got agilitude?

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett

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