March 20, 2024 - JOLT - Top Notch Dating Advice. . .From Your CareerGuy -

March 20, 2024 – JOLT – Top Notch Dating Advice. . .From Your CareerGuy

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

Mar 20


Job Dating

I’ve used the metaphor for years that job search is like dating, and that neediness and desperation works well in neither.

Yet knowing and doing are two different things!

As soon as it’s time for a career shift — in most cases never proactively planned but, rather, a knee-jerk reaction to some outside event (layoff, merger, etc) — the primal tendency is to begin wearing lack, need and even worthiness issues on our shirt sleeves.

Like the dating quote above says, you don’t choose the best people when in a needy state. You also don’t choose the best organizations or roles when you’re desperate for a job.

“But, Darrell, what if I really DO need a job, and right now?”

My advice is that the best way to get a job is to not be looking for one!

“But, Darrell, what if I really DO need a job, and right now? How do I not look for one?”

Hello???? My advice isn’t going to change!

So, you’re either going to find a way to manage your mind and disposition so as to NOT show up as a desperate and needy job seeker or you’ll just go the standard and well-worn path of bad dating: usually ending in lower self-esteem, decreased joy and even heartache.

“But Darrell, what if I really DO need a job, and right now? How do I manage my mind?”

Good question! You’ve now gotten to the core of it!

The answer is simple and can be easily learned: focus on Research and Human Connection.

When you are truly out for Research, you avoid the traps of neediness while building the best skill one can have these days: the skill of Human Connection.

1. When you’re not needy, you’ll meet more people because people avoid situations where someone may need what they can’t give.

2. When you’re researching to gain info around things that truly fascinate you, you’re imbued with an infectious and energizing energy.

3. When you tap into humans for the sake of being human together (vs. “corporate” or “formally professional”), you build relationship equity that can pay off for both you and them for years to come.

So, your AI (Aspiration Intelligence) enhanced mission, should you choose to accept it, is to develop your mastery of Human Connection for the ROI it will have on your career.

Think differently, play better.



CareerGuy and Back Forty Freedom Flier


About the Author

DARRELL W. GURNEY, Executive/ Career Coach and 20-year recruiting veteran, supports people at all levels to make fulfilling and profitable career transitions. His first book, Headhunters Revealed! Career Secrets for Choosing and Using Professional Recruiters, was winner of the Clarion Award for Best Book by the Association for Women in Communications and was reviewed in Publishers Weekly. His newest book, Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest, has been endorsed by bestselling thought leaders such as Harvey Mackay, Keith Ferrazzi, and Dr. Ivan Misner. A personal and business brand strategist, Darrell’s Stealth Method of networking has helped folks expand their reach within both careers and new client circles. He speaks, leads workshops, and is a media expert on subjects such as recruiting, networking, and finding one’s passion. He was recently named Networking Expert for and offers webinars and programs that get MBA students and working professionals out, connected, and landed.