“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” –Gautama Buddha
When I was in college, the then first woman Mayor of Austin, Texas, Carole Keeton, came to speak to our group. Something she said stuck with me: “If you don’t have people criticizing you, you’re not up to much.”
Similarly, a sharp coach I know who worked for a top-notch consulting company described how the staff was managed for performance based on making “promises” and, if you always kept your promises, you would come up for review…because you obviously weren’t stretching yourself very much.
So what about ourselves when we’re going outside our own comfort zone, playing in new arenas, or taking on innovative, bigger or even difficult areas of endeavor? Do we show up as accepting and encouraging of ourselves and our nascent efforts…or are we rough, tough and hyper-critical of those efforts all along the way to “perfection”?
Just like we can’t plant a seedling and then hover over it, shouting at it to “Grow!”, we can’t expect ourselves to thrive and expand into new aptitudes, altitudes or amplitudes unless we offer ourselves an attractive space of attitude to grow within — including the willingness to make mistakes.
Maybe if we’re not making a lot of mistakes, we aren’t up to much?
And maybe a spoonful of self-forgiveness helps the growth medicine go down?
“If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self.” –Maya Angelou
DARRELL W. GURNEY, Executive/ Career Coach and 20-year recruiting veteran, supports people at all levels to make fulfilling and profitable career transitions. His first book, Headhunters Revealed! Career Secrets for Choosing and Using Professional Recruiters, was winner of the Clarion Award for Best Book by the Association for Women in Communications and was reviewed in Publishers Weekly. His newest book, Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest, has been endorsed by bestselling thought leaders such as Harvey Mackay, Keith Ferrazzi, and Dr. Ivan Misner. A personal and business brand strategist, Darrell’s Stealth Method of networking has helped folks expand their reach within both careers and new client circles. He speaks, leads workshops, and is a media expert on subjects such as recruiting, networking, and finding one’s passion. He was recently named Networking Expert for BeyondB-School.com and offers webinars and programs that get MBA students and working professionals out, connected, and landed.