All Posts by Darrell Gurney

March 29, 2017, SPECIAL TGIW: Radicality & Event Invitation

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The days blur into one, and the backs of my eyes hum with the things I’ve never done.” –Radical Face

The term “radical” can raise our antennae and suspicions.

It carries the energy of dramatic shift, and implies extremes.

Yet, the idea of extremities is only the word’s secondary definition.

The primary definition is about going to the root of something, a fundamental shift.

Radical Forgiveness, Radical Happiness, Radical Restarts…all imply a going deeper than the surface norm by getting to the core of the thing itself.

To impact the drift of life often requires a radical wake-up, because it’s just too easy to stick to the norm.

You hear of folks who took on whole new ways of living after sudden health scares, near-death experiences, etc.

The question is: do we need to wait for such an external wake-up?

I like the idea of fomenting a crisis proactively, meaning self-inflicting the urgency for shift before the shift hits the fan.

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that your body was about to give out next week for lack of care?

How would your diet, fitness and sleep program look this week?

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that this job you’ve been hating will definitely end in a month?

How would your career change efforts look then?

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that your croaking was imminent, definitely within the year?

What bucket list items or purpose fulfillment would you take on right now?

Consider this an invitation to foment your own crisis…and then get radical!

Got radicality?

“If you want to make any radical change in your life, then either give it a clear date and time or do it today. There is no someday.” –Unknown

March 22, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Uncertainly

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.” –Voltaire

The human condition hungers for certainty.

Yet, nothing new or creative was ever born from it.

It’s a constant dance, in the middle of “Certainly!” and uncertainly, “Of course!” and off course, where anything out of the ordinary appears.

Whatever changeup from the way life is currently and/or comfortably going, whatever crazy dream or aspiration your spirit just won’t let you forget, whatever outlandish step all the pointers of your world are directing you to take…none of these can start with certainty.

The bigness of the game we want to play will determine how willing we are to reside in the not knowing.

Where can you play bigly, even in the face of off-course-ness and uncertainly?

Got uncertainly?

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.” –Francis Bacon

March 15, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Leveling Up

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Get comfortable being uncomfortable. That’s how you break the plateau and reach that next level.” –Chalene Johnson​​

We’ve all heard Albert Einstein’s idea that you can’t solve a problem at the same level at which it was created.

His challenge was to rise up, to the next level, so as to see and deal with the problem from a higher perspective.

And yet many of us with dreams and goals ahead (a problem) can be deceived into believing that we can get to that next level easily and effortlessly, or by playing the way we have already been playing at this particular plateau.

Let’s face it: it’s damn inconvenient to take on growth and fulfillment as a lifetime pursuit!

Especially and dangerously so if we’ve reached any level of success so far…because the pull is to then sit in that comfort place of safety, ease and convenience vs. venture back out into the unknown of what’s really possible.

Funny thing is, this message won’t register for those stuck in a level below their capability because that safety/comfort voice is too trusted and entertained.

And for those for whom it does register, it’s only a reminder that the sweat, learning and jittery uncertainty of growth experienced in the past is still required to max out our potential contribution in this lifetime.

Here’s to us, the reminderables.

Got leveling up?

“At the moment when you feel you have reached the point of absolute exhaustion, inspire yourself to take one last step, and that is when you have successfully arrived to the next level.” –Master Jin Kwon​

March 8, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Chaotic Balance

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Madness is somewhere inbetween chaos and having a dream.” –R.M. Drake

The urge inside is to take on new things, play in bigger ways, and set free what’s destined for us to express.

It invites chaos.

The urge inside is also to find security and predictability and order. It invites balance.

It’s all about evening out the urges. The tendency is to mitigate the first, and feed the second. Yet, without an invitation to chaos, we stay where we are.

Every now and then, I simply compile too many quotes that demonstrate what I could only attempt to say. This is one of those days.

“Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish.” –Chuck Palahniuk

“The worst thing you could do is tame the chaos in you. It’s like being told not to feel when you’re thrown in the fire.” –R.M. Drake

“Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.” –Buddha

“In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.” –Carl Jung

“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” –Deepak Chopra

“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.” –Henry Adams

“Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order and everything becomes…chaos.” –The Joker

“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” –Deepak Chopra

“Chaos was the law of nature; Order was the dream of man.” –Henry Adams

“Chaos is a friend of mine.” –Bob Dylan

“Fall in love or fall in hate. Get inspired or be depressed. Ace a test or flunk a class. Make babies or make art. Speak the truth or lie and cheat. Dance on tables or sit in the corner. Life is Divine Chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breath. And enjoy the ride.” –Unknown

Got chaotic balance?

“Balance is the ability to be happy in the midst of the most chaotic… circumstance.” –Friederick Lenz

March 1, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Play Ugly

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“I’m not afraid to play ugly – look at ‘Adaptation.’ I looked like a turd that a cat had coughed up. ” –Nicolas Cage

The desire to grow and the subconscious commitment to “look good” just don’t jibe.

You can’t get both.  Growth can only come through trying, expanding, being and looking different than you did before.

Steve Martin had a comedy album in the 70’s entitled “Comedy Is Not Pretty”.

Neither is real, committed, no-turning-back, burn-the-boats growth. It ain’t pretty.

Mistakes, failed attempts, gaffs, looking like a jackass…all come with the territory.

What area of growth means enough to you that you’re willing to play ugly?

Got play ugly?

“Play in the dirt, because life is too short to always have clean fingernails. ” –Unknown

February 22, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Edginess

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.” –Hunter S. Thompson

Going to the edge is not how we’re wired.

Our internal, anti-vertigo systems tells us to stay back.

Yet Kurt Vonnegut says “I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.”

Want to grow? Envision a new possibility or future? Step into your own promised land?

You have to go to the edge to accomplish it.

Perhaps all progress depends on consistent edginess.

Got edginess?

“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew. ” –Guillaume Apollinaire

February 15, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…KISS Happy

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“If you want to be happy, be.” –Leo Tolstoy

If we wanted, we could just keep-it-simple-stupid (KISS) the quote above and that would be that.

But sometimes the simplest of truths call forth our complication-making machinery.

We entertain this reason or that, compelling “evidence” that it’s just not possible.

The more legitimate the reason, the more we negate the simple truth.

So we invent cognitive therapy techniques to teach us to choose the happy thought.

Training is good…and yet we can train ourselves every moment of every day.

I like the thought that the way to be happy is to decide every morning that I’m in a good mood.

I also like the thought that sometimes happiness is a feeling, and sometimes it’s a choice.

All feelings aside, what’s your biggest choice today?

Got KISS happy?

“Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.” –Ralph Marston

February 8, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…GrowFlex

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.” –Bruce Lee

There’s a difference between growing in the wind and blowing in the wind.

We start out with a vision, we set goals, and we move towards their attainment.

By doing so, invite in every challenge and deficiency of being necessary to achieve those goals and fulfill that vision.

Many of us are swayed in some way or other by those challenges or demands for our upgraded beingness.

We think something is wrong and we get upset…in forms like doubt, anxiety, confusion. We start to blow in the wind.

Yet those very challenges are the environment which shape the tree.

Can anyone say a tree “should have” grown differently than it did? Based on environment, opportunity, and an inherent, unique pattern of design, it just grew.

People, plans and organizations often look different in the end from how they begin.

The point is: flexing, growing in the wind, to become.

Jeff Bezos of Amazon was quoted as saying, “We are stubborn on vision. We are flexible on details.”

Where can you grant yourself and your dreams some growflex today?

Got growflex?

“No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow your progress, you’re still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.” –Tony Robbins

February 1, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Patience

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” –Coco Chanel​

If we’re up for playing big games in life — career, impact, purpose — we’re going to be pressing our envelope all the time, becoming bigger than we knew ourselves to be.

A natural tendency is to compare: to others going our ways, and to our own ideals and standards of how we’d like to be playing.

The old adage claims “compare and despair” perhaps only because that’s the direction most people go with it.

When we see someone playing better at a game we’ve chosen, we COULD choose to be inspired to know it’s possible for us to play better too…and learn from them.

When we see ourselves playing beneath our own perceived abilities, we COULD feel blessed to know we have more within us to tap.

The main issue, then, is how we’re going to relate to that Self…and whether we realize that it’s always an inside job.

Maybe a new adage is called for: compare and solitaire.

Use any comparisons that naturally occur as insight to play our own game better…with the objective to use up the whole deck life has dealt us.

You only have your deck to play with…

and another name for that game is “patience”.

Got patience?

“The only person you should try to be better than is the Who You Were yesterday.” –Unknown​

January 25, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Good Fog

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Derive happiness in oneself from a good day’s work, from illuminating the fog that surrounds us.” –Henri Matisse

To some degree, we regard fog in our work and developments as a bad thing.

Fog means non-clarity: of what is coming together (or not); of what is working (or not); of what the end result will be (or not).

We hate not knowing, and will often avoid times when it’s all happening “in the mix” without certainty.

Yet, if we look throughout history, did anyone in the crucible of bringing something about know that the messiness and confusion surrounding them would eventually result in world-impacting change?

In 1928, did research scientist Alexander Fleming, who sometimes left a messy lab at the end of the day — failing to sterilize his plates and leaving the window open — know that mold would form, enabling him to invent penicillin?

In the early 30’s, did 10 drunks all but living together and struggling to stay sober know that they were forming a fellowship that would grow to over 2 million members in 170 countries?

In the moment is rarely the time when we will know what we’re actually creating. Yet,it’s the willingness to stay the course in the unknowing which can, years later, be the source of a fond reflection “Who would have known?”

What fog of your own creativity can you embrace for the sake of posterity?

Got good fog?

“It is not the clear-sighted who rule the world. Great achievements are accomplished in a blessed, warm fog.” –Joseph Conrad