All Posts by Darrell Gurney

February 1, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Patience

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” –Coco Chanel​

If we’re up for playing big games in life — career, impact, purpose — we’re going to be pressing our envelope all the time, becoming bigger than we knew ourselves to be.

A natural tendency is to compare: to others going our ways, and to our own ideals and standards of how we’d like to be playing.

The old adage claims “compare and despair” perhaps only because that’s the direction most people go with it.

When we see someone playing better at a game we’ve chosen, we COULD choose to be inspired to know it’s possible for us to play better too…and learn from them.

When we see ourselves playing beneath our own perceived abilities, we COULD feel blessed to know we have more within us to tap.

The main issue, then, is how we’re going to relate to that Self…and whether we realize that it’s always an inside job.

Maybe a new adage is called for: compare and solitaire.

Use any comparisons that naturally occur as insight to play our own game better…with the objective to use up the whole deck life has dealt us.

You only have your deck to play with…

and another name for that game is “patience”.

Got patience?

“The only person you should try to be better than is the Who You Were yesterday.” –Unknown​

January 25, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Good Fog

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Derive happiness in oneself from a good day’s work, from illuminating the fog that surrounds us.” –Henri Matisse

To some degree, we regard fog in our work and developments as a bad thing.

Fog means non-clarity: of what is coming together (or not); of what is working (or not); of what the end result will be (or not).

We hate not knowing, and will often avoid times when it’s all happening “in the mix” without certainty.

Yet, if we look throughout history, did anyone in the crucible of bringing something about know that the messiness and confusion surrounding them would eventually result in world-impacting change?

In 1928, did research scientist Alexander Fleming, who sometimes left a messy lab at the end of the day — failing to sterilize his plates and leaving the window open — know that mold would form, enabling him to invent penicillin?

In the early 30’s, did 10 drunks all but living together and struggling to stay sober know that they were forming a fellowship that would grow to over 2 million members in 170 countries?

In the moment is rarely the time when we will know what we’re actually creating. Yet,it’s the willingness to stay the course in the unknowing which can, years later, be the source of a fond reflection “Who would have known?”

What fog of your own creativity can you embrace for the sake of posterity?

Got good fog?

“It is not the clear-sighted who rule the world. Great achievements are accomplished in a blessed, warm fog.” –Joseph Conrad

January 18, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Gap Crossing

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Your problem is to bridge the gap which exists between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach.” –Earl Nightingale

There’s where we are now. There’s where we want to be.  There’s a gap.

The first inclination is to be diminished by the gap. Just like when you first realize something about yourself that was in a blind spot, and then use that insight to beat yourself up.

However, learning to positively “mind” the gap — applying three mind techniques of which we’re all capable — allows us to be empowered vs. disempowered by the gap.

First, Acknowledgement. Celebrating the mere fact that we’re ambitious enough to have recognized a gap gives the journey a forward-moving energy and vibration. Woohoo! Look at where you want to be! Aren’t you the bomb for realizing that?

Second, Visioning. Taking attention away from the pity-party of this side of the traverse and putting it on the other side, picturing and feeling the “what it will be like when”, initiates magnetic forces which pull out new ways and means for getting there.

Third, Pro-active Matching.  Constant comparisons of results achieved with results desired from a “Where’s Waldo” perspective, finding every near hit vs. near miss, creates tailwind vs. headwind.

What inspired gap of your own can you wrap your mind around this week?

Got gap crossing?

“What I really want and what I’ve been thinking. That’s it folks! That’s all the work there is in closing the gap.” –Abraham Hicks

January 11, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Self-Change Leadership

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things.” –Niccolo Machiavelli

The New Year resolutions/goals/intentions/declarations/ideas/musings have now had over a week to transform our lives!

And by now, many have already been dropped.

The grand plans and visions can often be a drug-producing magical high and yet, when the rubber hits the road, many a beautiful intention ends up in the ditch.

For many, it’s easier when some institution or corporate change-management official determines that things will be done differently and we must comply.  We may moan and groan, and yet — with something critical on the line (like our job)– we do or die.

Yet, taking that change-management leadership into our own hands — being both the stalwart of possibility while, at the same time, the comfort-zone addicted rebel — can be a fascinating process to observe.

Awareness. Authenticity. Acceptance. Absence Analysis. Activation.

Engaging in this 5A process on an earnest and regular basis can provide access to keeping those high-minded intentions on the road to real Self change.

Got self-change leadership?

“Consider that all accomplishment is constituted by a series of resolved breakdowns. ” –Werner Erhard

January 4, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…BE-Annual

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“You are not limited to the person you wound up being, the person you think you are. You can create a way of being for yourself that currently would be unrecognizeable for you as really being you, and have that way of being be authentically who you are.” –Werner Erhard​

Yes, we have the grand (or not) plans made (or not) of the results we intend to accomplish in the New Year.

What if the true source of those results, however, is not what we’ll do to achieve them, but who we’ll BE in the fulfillment of them?

Sure, actions must be taken. Yet BEING shapes and colors those actions.

If BEING precedes results, then we might put our annual ritual of creating New Year possibilities focus there.

Who can you BE that will have your next January Self be unrecognizeable to who you are now?

Got be-annual?

“For what it’s worth…it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start over again.” –F. Scott Fitzgerald

December 28, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Invited Obstacles

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you have to overcome to reach your goals.” –Booker T. Washington

There are lots of ways to treat and greet an oncoming New Year with possibility.

We can commit to resolutions.

We can assess the stats of our goal attainment for the last year and make new stretch commitments.

We can capture our intentions of who we want to be in the next 12 months in a theme, and make plans to live by that theme…posting reminders everywhere.

Yet, in any and all ways we propose to take our life into new realms of who or where we can be and what we can do or have in the next 365 days or less, know that it will invite obstacles.

We can’t expand until stretched to new proportions, and many a resolution, goal or theme are abandoned when the invited roadblocks naturally come.

Though contrary to the giddiness of listing high aims and objectives, perhaps a sober and conscious Open Letter of Invitation to Obstacles over the next few days will serve our 2017 of growth even better.

Got invited obstacles?

“You can either allow the obstacles in your life to be the excuse for your failure or make them the reason behind your success. ” –Unknown

December 21, 2016: TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Joy Research

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” –Henri J. M. Nouwen​​

We all know how this time of year is “supposed to” be.

I’m not saying it isn’t.

Yet, what if we discovered what “joy” is for ourselves this year (and in the year to come) vs. whatever pictures or already-ingrained-perceptions of it that we have?

Some may be experiencing this season without the loved one they had.  Others may be in the most challenging times of their lives.  Many may be simply riding the wave of the collective-spirit high.

Regardless of your current state, as my holiday gift to you, here is a helpful pocketlist of various thoughts on “joy” so that you might use this season as a research project (rather than already know) what joy can be for wherever you are now.

Keep it close, share it with others…and discover your own relationship to joy.

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” –Marianne Williamson

“Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.” –Helen Keller

“Joy is untouched by circumstance.” –Unknown

“Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” –Brene Brown

“Joy is not the absence of suffering. It is the presence of God.” –Robert Schuller

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” –Thich Nhat Hanh

“Consider it all joy.” –James 1:2

“Pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within.” –Eckhart Tolle

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive you will see it.” –Thich Nhat Hanh

“Remember that your natural state is joy.” –Wayne Dyer

“Life is hard. Choose joy anyway.” –Unknown

“A joy that’s shared is a joy made double.” –English Proverb

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.” –Mark Twain

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” –Rabindranath Tagore

“If you can’t find joy in the path you are on and what you are working toward now, how do you expect to find joy once you get there?” –Unknown

“When you choose joy you feel good. When you feel good, you do good and when you do good it reminds others of what joy feels like and it just might inspire them to do the same.” –Unknown

“We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try.” –Roger Ebert

Got joy research?

“…Find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss the joy is to miss all.” –Robert Louis Stevenson​​​

December 14, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Seasonal Milk

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. ”–Hamilton Wright Mabie

We’ve all heard the encouragement to “make hay while the sun is shining.”

If there was a particular time of the year to best gather our nuts on goodness of spirit and hope in humanity, we’re smack dab in the middle of it.

In case you and I have been a bit too busy in the the ritualistic wrapping up of the old calendar while designing the new, let’s be sure to note the wash of congeniality as the season of most human-spirit connectedness flows around us…and ideally through us and as us.

Though there’s no legitimate reason that, as Elvis sang, every day couldn’t be just like these holidays, our culture continues to declare “it’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

So, milk it!

Where can we give the gift of our presence (presents?) in a smile, good tiding, quick favor or little extra (whatever that extra might be)?

Better yet, where can we strive to see the oneness of humanity in the face of all the hypnotic and seductive “evidence” of separation that clouds most of the rest of the year?

If this is the time to shore up our faith in mankind, let’s jump on this train even though it’s already left the station.

Got seasonal milk?

“[This] is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.” –Washington Irving

December 7, 2016: TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Battle Price

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“A more peaceful way to live is to decide consciously which battles are worth fighting and which are better left alone.” –Richard Carlson

I’m sure I’m the only one who has sat on a customer service line for 30 minutes or more to correct a billing error or get a refund.

NOT!

My most recent experience had me realize I was spending $300 worth of my time to save $30. Insanely bad time management.

Similarly, there are people and events in our lives and workplace, businesses we frequent, and family and friends we will spend time with during the holidays that seem to always stick something in our craw.

Do we grab every opportunity to be right and support the justice of humanity? Only if we want to be a wreck.

‘What price peace?’ is a good question to keep asking ourselves in living every day as our best day.

Is this about rolling over all the time? Perhaps not. Perhaps there’s a battle that must be fought. And yet, not every one.

It’s been said that sometimes we need to lose the small battles in order to win the war.

Perhaps sometimes we need to simply let go of the small battles to enjoy peace of mind, body and spirit.

What battle can you release and forego today for the pricelessness of your peace?

Got battle price?

“Don’t let something that doesn’t matter cause you to lose something that does. ” –Anonymous

November 30, 2016, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Busy Body

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing. ” –Thomas Edison

True, inspiring and motivational thoughts from one of the Gods of creativity and industry…and yet these words may leave us feeling a sense of weight and sweatshop enslavement.

We want to be busy in pursuit of productive endeavor, yes, but how do we transform the flavor of being busy to one of excitement and exploration vs. serious and heavy?

One technique may be to bring the element of “play first” into the mix, where there is the willingness to keep getting busier and playing fuller until things don’t work anymore…and learn and grow from the insights gained vs. pull back.

When production starts to stretch the current systems — we miss scheduled appointments, the ordering systems fail, longer hours are required to fill demand — these are all good news and opportunities to level-up, system-up, and play-up.

An attitude of gratitude for things starting to fall down on the job — vs. make ourselves or others wrong because things didn’t work “perfectly” — can support the “Bring it on!” thrill of growth.

Where can you joyously thank breakdowns today for leading to breakthroughs tomorrow?

Got a busy body?

“He not busy being born is busy dying.” –Bob Dylan