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Apr 21

Wednesday, April 19, TGIW: ReThink

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Change can be frightening, and the temptation is often to resist it. But change almost always provides opportunities – to learn new things, to rethink tired processes, and to improve the way we work.” –Klaus Schwab

What if A didn’t necessarily need to precede B…or what if there was a way to get to Z by circumventing the linear alphabetic song.

In other words, we often set up rules in our minds as to “the way things need to go” in order to get from A to Z. And, by establishing such rules — consciously or (for the most part) unconsciously — we create a reality. Change becomes prescribed to take place a certain way.

We often can’t imagine a result we’re committed to having in our life, our career, our business, our relationships simply showing up. That’s what’s called “magical thinking,” and we all know we have to work for it.

So says the industrial mindset, and we can all agree that simply saying it or waiting for it doesn’t have it appear.

And yet, somewhere within that rigid and calculated “truth”, if there were the slightest crack of radical possibility that things may not be so fixed as how we see them, what might have a chance to happen outside the rules?

Let’s not throw the earnest-strategy baby out with the bathwater, and perhaps there’s value in making room for unexpected and unforeseen fortuitous factors to creep in.

Got rethink?

“Times of transition are strenuous, but I love them. They are an opportunity to purge, rethink priorities, and be intentional about new habits. We can make our new normal any way we want.” –Kristin Armstrong

Apr 13

April 12, 2017, TGIW: Breathing Disorder

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“In all chaos, there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.” –Carl Jung

“Waiting to exhale” is a phrase many are familiar with, if not from the movie of the same name, just the experience of life as lived.

Stressful events in our lives and the world can cause a virtual breathing disorder.

Personal or planetary chaos may attempt to deflect our attention and hope from what Thoreau calls our individual versions of “the direction of your dreams…the life you’ve imagined.”

Perhaps in getting back to basics, the most basic of basics is to remember to breathe… into the disorder.

Here’s some thoughts to help you take a breather from world or personal events, and be inspired (latin inspīrāre, to breathe upon or into ):

“True stability results when presumed order and presumed disorder are balanced. A truly stable system expects the unexpected, is prepared to be disrupted, waits to be transformed.” –Tom Robbins

“One way to break up any kind of tension is good deep breathing.” –Byron Nelson

“Smiling is very important. If we are not able to smile, then the world will not have peace. It is not by going out for a demonstration against nuclear missiles that we can bring about peace. It is with our capacity of smiling, breathing, and being peace that we can make peace.” –Thich Nhat Hanh

“Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.” –L. Frank Baum

“I wake up every day and I think, ‘I’m breathing! It’s a good day.'” –Eve Ensler

“I’m convinced of this: Good done anywhere is good done everywhere. For a change, start by speaking to people rather than walking by them like they’re stones that don’t matter. As long as you’re breathing, it’s never too late to do some good.” –Maya Angelou

“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.” –Erma Bombeck

Got breathing disorder?

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” –Albert Einstein

Apr 04

April 4, 2017, Open Invitation TGIW: Relaxspiration

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” –Chinese Proverb

The tendency is to do, and do, and do…and keep doing until done.

Our cultural work ethic values pressing forward and figuring it out, whatever it takes.

There’s a lot to be said for pressing forward, yet especially with an easy touch.

When the chips are down, we often go head down, nose to the grindstone and get so tight that we only breath in.

We forget that tight means no openings for entry…of new ideas, innovative approaches and, God forbid, playfulness.

Winston Churchill, a man with the fate of the world on his shoulders, painted to open his mental creative faculties for battle.

Thomas Edison, one of the greatest inventors of all time, was an avid fisherman–with no bait because he wanted solitude and inspiration, not fish.

Researchers have discovered that people exhibiting relaxed playfulness appear to be better at coping with stress, can easily see things from new perspectives, and are more likely to report leading active lifestyles.

So, the next time the tight wad of forcing an outcome wraps you up, contrary action such as loosening your grip may save the color in your knuckles and even incite some chuckles.

Got relaxspiration?

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. ” –William S. Burroughs

Mar 29

March 29, 2017, SPECIAL TGIW: Radicality & Event Invitation

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The days blur into one, and the backs of my eyes hum with the things I’ve never done.” –Radical Face

The term “radical” can raise our antennae and suspicions.

It carries the energy of dramatic shift, and implies extremes.

Yet, the idea of extremities is only the word’s secondary definition.

The primary definition is about going to the root of something, a fundamental shift.

Radical Forgiveness, Radical Happiness, Radical Restarts…all imply a going deeper than the surface norm by getting to the core of the thing itself.

To impact the drift of life often requires a radical wake-up, because it’s just too easy to stick to the norm.

You hear of folks who took on whole new ways of living after sudden health scares, near-death experiences, etc.

The question is: do we need to wait for such an external wake-up?

I like the idea of fomenting a crisis proactively, meaning self-inflicting the urgency for shift before the shift hits the fan.

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that your body was about to give out next week for lack of care?

How would your diet, fitness and sleep program look this week?

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that this job you’ve been hating will definitely end in a month?

How would your career change efforts look then?

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that your croaking was imminent, definitely within the year?

What bucket list items or purpose fulfillment would you take on right now?

Consider this an invitation to foment your own crisis…and then get radical!

Got radicality?

“If you want to make any radical change in your life, then either give it a clear date and time or do it today. There is no someday.” –Unknown

Mar 24

March 22, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Uncertainly

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.” –Voltaire

The human condition hungers for certainty.

Yet, nothing new or creative was ever born from it.

It’s a constant dance, in the middle of “Certainly!” and uncertainly, “Of course!” and off course, where anything out of the ordinary appears.

Whatever changeup from the way life is currently and/or comfortably going, whatever crazy dream or aspiration your spirit just won’t let you forget, whatever outlandish step all the pointers of your world are directing you to take…none of these can start with certainty.

The bigness of the game we want to play will determine how willing we are to reside in the not knowing.

Where can you play bigly, even in the face of off-course-ness and uncertainly?

Got uncertainly?

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.” –Francis Bacon

Mar 15

March 15, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Leveling Up

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Get comfortable being uncomfortable. That’s how you break the plateau and reach that next level.” –Chalene Johnson​​

We’ve all heard Albert Einstein’s idea that you can’t solve a problem at the same level at which it was created.

His challenge was to rise up, to the next level, so as to see and deal with the problem from a higher perspective.

And yet many of us with dreams and goals ahead (a problem) can be deceived into believing that we can get to that next level easily and effortlessly, or by playing the way we have already been playing at this particular plateau.

Let’s face it: it’s damn inconvenient to take on growth and fulfillment as a lifetime pursuit!

Especially and dangerously so if we’ve reached any level of success so far…because the pull is to then sit in that comfort place of safety, ease and convenience vs. venture back out into the unknown of what’s really possible.

Funny thing is, this message won’t register for those stuck in a level below their capability because that safety/comfort voice is too trusted and entertained.

And for those for whom it does register, it’s only a reminder that the sweat, learning and jittery uncertainty of growth experienced in the past is still required to max out our potential contribution in this lifetime.

Here’s to us, the reminderables.

Got leveling up?

“At the moment when you feel you have reached the point of absolute exhaustion, inspire yourself to take one last step, and that is when you have successfully arrived to the next level.” –Master Jin Kwon​

Mar 10

March 8, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Chaotic Balance

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Madness is somewhere inbetween chaos and having a dream.” –R.M. Drake

The urge inside is to take on new things, play in bigger ways, and set free what’s destined for us to express.

It invites chaos.

The urge inside is also to find security and predictability and order. It invites balance.

It’s all about evening out the urges. The tendency is to mitigate the first, and feed the second. Yet, without an invitation to chaos, we stay where we are.

Every now and then, I simply compile too many quotes that demonstrate what I could only attempt to say. This is one of those days.

“Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish.” –Chuck Palahniuk

“The worst thing you could do is tame the chaos in you. It’s like being told not to feel when you’re thrown in the fire.” –R.M. Drake

“Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.” –Buddha

“In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.” –Carl Jung

“You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

“All great changes are preceded by chaos.” –Deepak Chopra

“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit.” –Henry Adams

“Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order and everything becomes…chaos.” –The Joker

“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” –Deepak Chopra

“Chaos was the law of nature; Order was the dream of man.” –Henry Adams

“Chaos is a friend of mine.” –Bob Dylan

“Fall in love or fall in hate. Get inspired or be depressed. Ace a test or flunk a class. Make babies or make art. Speak the truth or lie and cheat. Dance on tables or sit in the corner. Life is Divine Chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breath. And enjoy the ride.” –Unknown

Got chaotic balance?

“Balance is the ability to be happy in the midst of the most chaotic… circumstance.” –Friederick Lenz

Mar 01

March 1, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Play Ugly

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“I’m not afraid to play ugly – look at ‘Adaptation.’ I looked like a turd that a cat had coughed up. ” –Nicolas Cage

The desire to grow and the subconscious commitment to “look good” just don’t jibe.

You can’t get both.  Growth can only come through trying, expanding, being and looking different than you did before.

Steve Martin had a comedy album in the 70’s entitled “Comedy Is Not Pretty”.

Neither is real, committed, no-turning-back, burn-the-boats growth. It ain’t pretty.

Mistakes, failed attempts, gaffs, looking like a jackass…all come with the territory.

What area of growth means enough to you that you’re willing to play ugly?

Got play ugly?

“Play in the dirt, because life is too short to always have clean fingernails. ” –Unknown

Feb 22

February 22, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Edginess

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.” –Hunter S. Thompson

Going to the edge is not how we’re wired.

Our internal, anti-vertigo systems tells us to stay back.

Yet Kurt Vonnegut says “I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.”

Want to grow? Envision a new possibility or future? Step into your own promised land?

You have to go to the edge to accomplish it.

Perhaps all progress depends on consistent edginess.

Got edginess?

“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew. ” –Guillaume Apollinaire

Feb 16

February 15, 2017, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…KISS Happy

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“If you want to be happy, be.” –Leo Tolstoy

If we wanted, we could just keep-it-simple-stupid (KISS) the quote above and that would be that.

But sometimes the simplest of truths call forth our complication-making machinery.

We entertain this reason or that, compelling “evidence” that it’s just not possible.

The more legitimate the reason, the more we negate the simple truth.

So we invent cognitive therapy techniques to teach us to choose the happy thought.

Training is good…and yet we can train ourselves every moment of every day.

I like the thought that the way to be happy is to decide every morning that I’m in a good mood.

I also like the thought that sometimes happiness is a feeling, and sometimes it’s a choice.

All feelings aside, what’s your biggest choice today?

Got KISS happy?

“Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.” –Ralph Marston

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