November 25, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Red-Headed Gratitude

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“I wouldn’t change anything. I’ve made mistakes, but thanks to those mistakes, I’ve learned.” –Enrique Iglesias

It’s always the usual-suspect goodies that we first think to give thanks for.

Those standard goodies of health, home, family, career, community and turkey and dressing on the table are absolute blessings, for sure.

Yet do we cast as much thanks upon the challenges, the downfalls, the mis-steps and mis-takes, the things that didn’t go our way or caused a crimp in our plans?

Including the whole bunch seems appropriate, and perhaps those generally overlooked blessings deserve a bit more gravy…because they shaped us in ways of, if seemingly not our own choosing, at least our own growth.

Got red-headed stepchild gratitude?

“Thank you for life, and all the little ups and downs that make it worth living.” –Travis Barker

November 18, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Not Knowing

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Risk comes from not knowing what you’re doing.” –Warren Buffett

The implication of the above quote would therefore be “know what you’re doing” and, of course, “avoid risk”.

For sure, if there were millions under our discretion, we’d want Uncle Warren managing our funds. He’s a master at balancing financial risk and return.

And yet, with the rest of life, is only risk-averse and knowledge-welded how we really want to live? Is that actually living?

Do we not take action until we have it all figured out?

Do we have to “see the whole staircase” before we take a step toward our dreams?

Rarely is a weekly JOLT over-quoted, but today it seemed appropriate:

“Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” –Gilda Radner

“I think on some level, you do your best things when you’re a little off-balance, a little scared. You’ve got to work from mystery, from wonder, from not knowing.” –Willem Dafoe

“Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little.” –Agnes de Mille

“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.” –Ursula K. Le Guin

Got not knowing?

“I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.” –Rosalia de Castro

November 11, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Behaving

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Don’t tell me what you believe in. I’ll observe how you behave and I will make my own determination.” –Alex Trebek

Breaking down words into their parts can be enlightening, and offer entirely new perspectives when applying them to our lives.

When we consider “behave”, the initial flavor might carry some sense of moral or upright way of conducting oneself.

Yet, both the Oxford and Cambridge dictionaries define “behave” as “to act or conduct oneself in a specified or particular way”…which has nothing to do with good or bad.

Then, looking further into the parts, we get “be” and “have” which, ordered in that way, carry a richer flavor and more conscious charge for how to live.

Reversing the common idea that when we have this or that (career, life, relationship, bank account, etc) we will then get to be this or that kind of person, as Steven Covey encourages, we begin with the end in mind. First we be. Then we have…even if only in being itself.

What can you be today, coming from have-ing already arrived?

Got be-have-ing?

“You can’t sow an apple seed and expect to get an avocado tree. The consequences of your life are sown in what you do and how you behave.” –Tom Shadyac

November 4, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Filters

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“There are no facts, only interpretations.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

Whether we see our work, our homes, our relationships, our world as tough, inspiring, combative, generous, unfair, supportive, happenstance or perfectly designed depends not upon the environments themselves, but upon the seer.

Bar none.

All the time.

Got conscious filters?

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” –Viktor Frankl

October 28, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Unrecognizable

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” –Aristotle

There’s a lot to be said about knowing oneself and, as Uncle Ari asserts, it may be the beginning of wisdom.

Yet, too often we say or hear the phrases “That’s just not me” or “This is just the way I am.”

If that comfort-zone box is happy and cozy, then good for us.

If we really want to grow — outside of whatever past or current supposed dictates that life has give us — then maybe we can’t afford to claim such self awareness.

Knowing oneself may be the beginning of wisdom.  Perhaps becoming unrecognizable to oneself is what comes next.

If you really didn’t “know yourself” for all the habits, limits, or ways of being you’ve claimed, what would be possible?

Got unrecognizability?

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” –George Bernard Shaw

October 21, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…GD40

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Gratitude is the antidote to the two things that stop us: fear and anger.” –Tony Robbins

When considering the moves we want to accomplish and big dreams we want to fulfill– and all the seeming figuring it out and/or blind faith we’ll need to invest to “make it happen” — it’s easy to get afraid, whether we admit it or not.

Most won’t admit that fear to others, and many won’t admit it to themselves.  Yet, the projects, launches and big moves just seem to get pushed back for many very good and logical reasons.

What if enough gratitude — for the growth opportunity, the challenge, the chance to work the muscle — could displace the fear?

WD40 was invented during the Cold War to prevent rust and corrosion on missiles…

with WD meaning “water displacement”.

Perhaps a shot of gratitude displacement can loosen up our frozen forays forward?

Got GD40?

“Gratitude and fear can’t stand the site of each other.” –Robin Sharma

Create an Emergency Layoff Plan for Your Family

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

Create an Emergency Layoff Plan for Your Family

Families are prepared for a fire or hurricane. Take the same measures to ensure you’re prepared for an emergency job loss.

By Darrell Gurney

FILED UNDER: Family, Stress, Prepare.

Many families have an earthquake, hurricane or disaster plan, but how many have a layoff plan? A job loss is a time when the Earth unexpectedly moves from beneath your feet, so it should require the same preparation.

Of course, living in the doom and gloom of “maybes” is not the answer, but just-in-case preparedness can give you a sense of peace — and power.

Here are a few points to consider to ensure you could handle a worst-case scenario:

1. Don’t avoid the void.
   Thinking of a possible layoff can get you down, so most people avoid the discussion. Getting into the mindset of how you’ll deal with it, rather than the negativity surrounding it, will actually pick you up — because you’ll know you can handle whatever comes.
2. Know your mate’s job-loss mentality ahead of time.
   The time to know how you can rely on your partner to share the load of raising a family is before you have one. Similarly, the time to know how you’ll both endure the stress of job loss is before it occurs. Does she actually love what she’s doing now? Would he want another job just like it? Or would an unexpected layoff give him the opportunity to go a different direction — or even start his own business? Discuss possible options before you’re faced with them.
3. Fortify your belief in one another.
   If your partner loses her job, it can lower her self-esteem and that lowered esteem can impact the dynamics of the relationship (such as not being the provider). Though you can’t always know how someone will actually be affected unless and until it happens, earthquake-proofing your relationship for possible esteem shakeups can create a deeper connection when it counts. Work together to create an inventory of all the skills, talents and aptitudes you each possess, and remind each other of those truths — when you need it most.
4. Create a job-loss financial plan.
   The scrambling and differing opinions about how to deal with finances when an unexpected layoff hits can create friction when you need to pull together the most. Come to an agreement about how you’d deal with the loss of income, what things would take priority and to what degree either of you could hang on for the “right job” before just accepting any offer. Plan ahead to make the most of stretched resources.
5. Create a job-loss emergency checklist.
   Agree on what rules will be followed in the case of an actual job loss. Think about everything from:

• hours to be spent in the job search
• getting out of the house
• communication strategies
• exercise program

Helping each other to be effective while keeping family life stable will go a long way toward a peaceful household in a time of transition.

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Darrell Gurney is the Founder and CEO of CareerGuy, a website supporting career fulfillment, job transitions, branding and business building. As a 28-year recruiting veteran, executive coach and career advisor, Darrell has supported thousands of professionals at all levels to make profitable transitions. He also offers webinars, talks and programs that get students and working professionals out, connected, and expanding.

 

October 14, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Git ‘er Done!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it’s a shield.” –Brene Brown

Larry the Cable Guy’s blue-collar, red-neck charge to “Git ‘er Done!” is encouraging…because many of us will produce and contribute a lot less attempting to do it “right”.

How much is play and productivity limited by our pursuit of perfection?

How much further can we get when giving ourselves the freedom to fall short?

Got wharts and all?

“These ‘mistakes’ occur in my books for a reason. I have an agenda: I’m secretly trying to inspire kids to create their own stories and comics, and I don’t want them to feel stifled by ‘perfectionism’.” –Dav Pilkey

October7, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Life of Learning

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” –Mahatma Ghandi

“Live and learn” is an easily disbursed platitude we often express at a moment of surprise when something or someone has hit us blindside, resulting in an outcome we would have never expected.

Yet, all the while it’s being said, we’re likely kicking ourselves for not having seen whatever coming beforehand.

“Why didn’t I think of that?”  “I should have figured something like this would happen.” “How could I be so stupid/silly/blind/asleep/[bludgeon of your choice]?”

That’s actually not “live and learn”…but more like “live and judge ourselves for not knowing what we could only know by living.”

I once heard that good judgement comes from wisdom, wisdom comes from experience, experience comes from mistakes, and mistakes come from poor judgement.

Makes good, circle-of-life sense, doesn’t it?

So what sense does it make to carry a load of good-judgement-driven guilt around with us?

Where can you let yourself off the hook today?

Got a life of learning?

“You’ll never see all the awesome things ahead of you if you keep looking at all the bad things behind you. Sometimes you just have to turn around, give a little smile, throw the match and burn that bridge. Live, learn and don’t look back!” –Unknown

September 30, 2015, TGIW: Unhumping Hump Day…Getting Bigger

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“You become what you think about most of the time.” –Brian Tracy

We’ve all heard that you are what you eat, that our income will be the average of the five people we hang out with most, and that we become what we think about.

I’m not a nutritionist, nor a financial advisor, and yet I do think a lot.

The question I ask myself is whether I’m most focused on controlling and managing what’s happening in the moment — as if there will ever be a time when things are “handled” and orderly — or whether I’m thinking outside of this current box to the next level of becoming.

It’s been said that the level of responsibility we choose to operate from determines the size of the games we get to play. A focus on paying the rent is a necessary level of responsibility, and yet that focus doesn’t get us playing at the level of transforming society.

Yet, when choosing to have an impact on or about society, sometimes and somehow the rent just gets paid.

I tell my career transition clients that someone with a mission or a vision is way more attractive than someone who needs a job.

There will be problems. That’s just life. Yet, if the size of the problems you choose to engage in determines your bandwidth, what problems will you pick…and how will you design your work/home/life environments to call for you to become the solution?

Got size enhancement?

“You say I dream too big. I say you think too small.” –Author Unknown