October 23, 2019 – JOLT – If quality is what you seek, then pick one

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Nothing endures but personal qualities.” – Walt Whitman

We all like the feeling…

of having had a quality day.

The question is how do we ensure it from the get-go?

Easy! Pick one.

Today, pick a quality that you’d like to experience more of in your life, or one which you already know you most enjoy experiencing.

Seriously — take 10 seconds right now to Google “human qualities list” and you’ll find a ton of simple personality and character traits to choose from.

Practice BEing that quality today.

If and when you forget, or notice yourself not BEing that quality, simply BE it again. (Sure, you can bring another one or two into the mix to help with that, like Forgiveness or Compassion.)

Then, at the end of the day, assess how that quality day left you feeling. If you want more of the same, pick it again tomorrow. Otherwise, pick from the smorgasbord of choices for your next quality day.

Quality day after quality day leads to quality life. Is that worth your 10 seconds right now?

If I can help bring additional quality to your career or life, schedule a private session here.

Got quality?

“You attract people by the qualities you display. You keep them by the qualities you possess.” – Unknown

October 16, 2019 – JOLT – Antithetical learning: for the unknown of YOU

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“One sure-fire way to stay creative: force yourself to learn something new.” – Harvey Mackay

Too often, in the throes of busy and business life,

the only time we learn something new is when we’re forced to: some job shift, some turn of events in life, some emergency requiring new knowledge and skills.

Maybe a new system is being implemented company wide, and we have no choice but to give up our attachment to the old and learn this new technology.

Maybe a shift in health or relationship has us gaining knowledge in areas we hadn’t given much attention to before.

Maybe a sudden and unexpected occurrence or tragedy puts us in a whole new world of learning…sometimes from the ground up.

If you look, other than the 12, to 16, or even 20 years of traditional or higher-level schooling some of us had, much of our personal, ongoing learning is relegated to reading or audio books, and maybe a seminar here or there. Good for casually growing our world of ideas, but not always monumentally life-altering or transformative.

Why? Because monumental new learning involves exiting comfort zones of what we “know” and who we “know” ourselves to be…which is a rub.

However, we’ve all heard that anything worth really playing or living for always resides outside our comfort zones.

What if, just for the heck (or healing) of it, we each challenged ourselves to engage in something completely new simply for the sake of discovering other aspects of ourselves we didn’t know existed?

Such as…
-a caucasian guy committing to the several years of salsa dance instruction necessary to get that rhythm into his system so it comes out naturally.
-a creative artist signing up for an app building program, to engage the the technical and engineering aspects of the mind.
-an engineering or scientific professional enrolling in an improv class, to initiate nascent abilities of irrational and quick creativity.

Of course, you can say “That’s silly! These folks aren’t built for these areas of learning.”

That’s the point. How can we ever know what we’re capable of, much less keep our doors of learning truly open, unless we invite in alternative and stretching realms?

Your mission today, should you choose to accept it, is to pick an area of antithetical expansion and learning that you’ll begin to cultivate…for no reason other than to experience yourself differently, and to grow.

Perhaps a heads up on a stretch to bring into the coming new year?

I’m taking on a new area of antithetical growth myself, and would appreciate your support and input. Stay tuned for more details next week.

In the meantime, schedule a private session here for support in your career change, individual learning and Big Game growth.

Got antithetical learning?

“Knowledge is when you learn something new every day. Wisdom is when you let something go every day.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

October 9, 2019 – JOLT – Decisions, decisions, decisions… and then, redecision!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” – Les Brown

We all know what it’s like…

to make decisions.

Every day, in every way, big and small, lasting or fleeting, easy or grueling…we crank them out both consciously and unconsciously.

There’s a ton of wisdom thrown around about decision-making, such as…

“Not making a decision is actually a decision. It’s the decision to stay the same.”

“Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.”

“The hard part is implementing the decision, not making it.”

However, one thing we don’t often think about is the decisions we’ve made that we’re not thinking about.

Huh?

Look, we’ve all made lots of decisions that have long gone under the radar of our lives. Some decisions were made during the course of our life experiences, and some from a very early age before we even had a fully formed brain.

“I’m no good at [x].”
“Things always go this way for me.”
“Work is always [descriptive].”
“Men are like this…”
“Women are like this…”
“I’m never good enough.”

The problem with so many decisions going underground, into the subconscious, is that we live our lives as if we’re here today, present in the moment, and yet what’s really running the show is a bunch of age-old decisions we once made at unique, past times in our life.

The decisions we made then got us through those unique times, but may not be the best approach to live the life we want to live NOW.

So, a conscious inventory of our old, hidden decisions can often be the way to free ourselves up in the NOW for opportunities and growth we won’t experience if those old decisions remain hidden.

Tricky business, to get the mind to look at itself and uncover hidden decisions. But, it can be done, and one way is to simply begin writing out the main areas of your life that are important to you and ask…

“When did I decide it was this way in [x] area? What happened to have me decide that? Is that a decision that empowers my life NOW, or might I experience new possibilities by letting it go and making a new decision?”

Not a pastime for lightweights, for sure, but who ever built a great life NOW without doing a bit of heavy lifting?

Want a fun environment in which to made some new decisions? If you’re near LA, join us for our 1-Day Back Forty IGNITE Program this Saturday, October 12, in Long Beach. In a beautiful hotel location, overlooking the harbor and Queen Mary, you’ll walk away with empowering redecisions on some of your biggest past limitations. See details for the program here or schedule a private session here.

Got redecision?

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.” – Tony Robbins

September 25, 2019 – JOLT – One look back to see more miles forward?

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The farther back you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.” – Winston Churchill

We have a notion that our success…

comes primarily from the actions we take today to progress, to move forward, to claim new ground, to stake new territories.

And, of course, progress does depend on taking action.

However, a reflective look back can actually be one of the smartest actions we can take to move forward.

To a great degree, many don’t see any urgency in reflection. It’s sometimes viewed as the lower priority choice when compared to all the new, fun things we can get involved with. We can be like kids forced to take medicine when a bit of “Stop – Breathe – Reflect” direction comes our way.

I recall a quote from a character played by Raul Julia in the 1976 movie “Gumball Rally” (Google it) where he tells his racing companion, “And now, my friend, the first rule of Italian driving: what’s behind me is not important” and then detaches the rear-view mirror and throws it out of the car.

Yet, there’s also the famous George Santayana quote, “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

Here’s the deal: what if we take out the gloom and doom and just accept that we all have a personal history. Then, simply ask ourselves…

“Does my personal history fire me up on all pistons for what’s possible for me?” or…

“Does my personal history carry some seeming weight or limitation on my greatest Self emerging?”

Depending on your answer, there may be value in taking some time to reflect yourself forward.

In executive coaching, I can’t tell you how often successful people (by all worldly standards) really have a five-year-old running the show. That five-year-old had certain life experiences that couldn’t be processed by such a young brain. Therefore, subconscious decisions about “how life is” got formed. And the five-year-old now runs the department, the business, the firm, the show.

Sure, reflection for reflection’s sake can be indulgent. But reflection for the sake of uncovering unseen anchors of limitation…now THAT could be the best investment of time ever.

Your mission today, should you choose to accept it: “Stop – Breathe – Reflect” on whether there could be value for you in discovering any weight you’re carrying around that you don’t think you have.

When it comes to your career, life, relationships and dreams reaching their highest expression, the lighter your load, the better.

Want a structure to accomplish some propelling reflection? If you’re near LA, join us for our 1-Day Back Forty IGNITE Program on October 12 in Long Beach. In a beautiful hotel location, overlooking the harbor and Queen Mary, our players will leave past limitations behind and begin a radical, unlimited second half of life. See details for the program here or schedule a private session here.

Got propelling reflection?

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard

September 18, 2019 – JOLT – What’s better than being right? A re-write!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” – Rick Warren

No matter how technologically we advance…

and no matter how educated, experienced, wealthy or busy we become, we will always carry one thing forward with us: our past.

If we’ve pursued a path of conscious, personal development, we may be a bit more aware of it — and its attempts to shape our present and our future — but, even so, our past hangs out in our subconscious if not our everyday consciousness.

If anything in our past has been held as negative or something we’ve wanted to “get away” from then, chances are, our lives have become a reaction to that past.

So, we may have sought to find closure, completion, or taken the route of forgiveness.

All those routes are good and honorable, and definitely more actively freeing than holding onto the past.

But, what if we had nothing to close, nothing to complete, and nothing to forgive?

What if we caused it ALL just to get ourselves on the path of becoming who we came here to be and doing what we came here to do?

Tough pill to consider swallowing, but think of the ramifications…
— you chose the events and circumstances…to establish who you came here to be
— you chose the players…to help you become who you came here to be
— you chose the environments…to shape you into who you came here to be

You did all that to become who you came here to be so that you can now do what you came here to do.

It’s nothing new to be the victim, for sure. That’s an easy card to play. And we can all present evidence that we’re “right” and get all the justification we need from well-meaning friends.

But it’s definitely the road less traveled to consider ourselves a victim to nobody or nothing that’s ever occurred…and to actually be thankful for ALL of it.

Now, that’s not Pollyanna “It’s all good!” I’m talking about, and definitely not a thankful-while-gritting-my-teeth type of gratitude.

But, just what if it were possible that the most yucky thing that ever happened to you was actually the BEST thing that ever happened to you? If you caused it all in your past (and realize you have that power), how might you now cause it all in your future? How would that change your story?

Today’s exercise is to take one most-yucky event, situation or circumstance from your past and, just for the hell of it, come up with 20 reasons why it’s the best thing that could have ever happened to you?

Want some past re-writing support? If you’re near LA, join us for our 1-Day Back Forty IGNITE Program on October 12 in Long Beach. In a beautiful hotel location, overlooking the harbor and Queen Mary, lots of people will leave past limitations behind and begin a radical, unlimited second half of life. See details for the program here or schedule a private session here.

Got past rewrite?

“You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.” – Jane Austen

September 11, 2019 – JOLT – Is your “best” your true best? What if so?

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Doing your best is more important than being the best.” – Zig Ziglar

The phrase “Do your best”…

is often an encouragement, but can also be a disabling and unreachable standard.

To be clear, that’s not to say that we should accept anything less than our very best from ourselves. I personally believe “do your best” is a great motto to live by.

It’s when we refuse to accept, however, that we actually DID our best, and then view a situation, project, or goal in retrospect saying “if I could have only done better, known more, strategized smarter, played sharper, etc., etc.” In doing so, we actually disable the best that we did do!

The concept of Law of Attraction says that you get more of whatever it is you focus on.

So, when we’re pursuing any situation, project or goal and actually do the best we can with what we know and the resources we have, then guess what? We did our best in that moment…and deserve whatever good comes our way from it.

There will always be more “better” to get to. But, by at least playing, getting out on the field, and having giving it all we could in this moment now, we gave ourselves the opportunity to learn…so as to play even better when on the field next time.

If we walk away from any session of game playing and harbor thoughts of “if only I had…,” we actually begin to close the doors on whatever openings we may have created. When we get down on ourselves, the Law of Attraction brings us more things to be down about…and may push away the results we actually wanted.

This is a nuanced idea, but what if we experiment with whether an acknowledging and appreciating hand of self-encouragement can replace — and access even more power — than the old, familiar, iron fist of telling ourselves that we’re still “not enough.”

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to begin to empower yourself with acceptance of having done your best at whatever you’re do…and watch whether you are inspired to play even better the next time.

On that note, if I can support your exploring a career change (Career Review Strategy Session), growing your business (PlayGame Big Game Coaching Session), or designing a radical second half of career and/or life (Back Forty Big Game Coaching Session), book a session to play at your best here.

Last Call on Long Beach Mastermind: If you’re near Long Beach, CA, I’ll be starting up a small mastermind group shortly. Reach out to me quickly if interested…like TODAY!

Got true best?

“Why worry? If you’ve done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it any better.” – Walt Disney

August 28, 2019 – JOLT – Slap in the face or on the back – you choose!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Make finding the good in others a priority.” – Zig Ziglar

We can all get so busy…

that seemingly very small, human-decency considerations can fall through the cracks.

And yet, when we happen to be on the side of needing a little help, compassion, uplift or supportive forgiveness, we sure appreciate such consideration.

I think it’s pretty clear by now — to those of us who got the memo — that nobody is perfect. We’re all going to have our good days of highest Self expression as well as our not-so-good days of dealing with the smaller self.

But the idea of “keeping one’s side of the street clean” at all times, I believe, creates a space in which others can find it in themselves to make room for our imperfections.

When we’re jumping on the foibles, missteps, and lapses in greatness of others, for sure we set ourselves up for a non-compassionate backlash when we, as the yet-ascended masters which we are, show up as less than polished.

But, when we contribute from a spirit of service, and are quick to acknowledge when we make the inevitable mistakes (aka “learning experiments”) that any player-in-pursuit-of-greatness will make, the backlash often turns into a back slap of “Don’t worry about it. You go guy/gal. Get out there on the field and keep playing!”

So, in the midst of our days of doing our best — which, I believe, is what all of us are actually trying to do with what we know in the moment — can we make room for the blips in greatness of others in the same way we appreciate our own blips being indulged?

Where can you offer a supportive back slap to someone who may not being playing their best-Self game today? As the old adage says…”what goes around comes around.”

Summer Discount Ends THIS WEEK! My core initial coaching sessions are $50 OFF. Whether you’re exploring a career change (Career Review Strategy Session), wanting to grow your business as an owner or executive (PlayGame Big Game Coaching Session), or interested in designing a second half of career and/or life based on play, passion and purpose (Back Forty Big Game Coaching Session), take advantage of the summer discounts to support you in playing bigger here.

Also, if you’re near Long Beach, CA, I’ll be starting up a small mastermind group shortly. Reach out to me quickly if interested…like TODAY!

Got back slapping support?

“When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.” – John Spence

August 21, 2019 – JOLT – For the seeming self-sufficient: a remedy outside of yourself

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Deliberately seek the company of people who influence you to think and act on building the life you desire.” – Napoleon Hill

If we’re really honest…

we know that we often can’t count on ourselves.

Sure, overall, we do a decent job of meeting our obligations and responsibilities. We’re well-meaning and, often, very hard-working folks.

However, when it comes to seeing our own blind spots, discerning our own excuses, and distinguishing our own die-hard (though perhaps masked) commitment to staying in our comfort zones…we aren’t equipped! We simply rarely see, and even more rarely shift, our own limiting thoughts, beliefs and actions by ourselves.

So, when it comes to fulfilling on your own initiatives, good ideas and intentions to grow and expand, it’s a lot like “cobbler’s shoes”: you can dole out helpful input and put fire under the butt of others, but you often can’t or won’t do so for yourself…just like the cobbler and his/her kids who always have the worst shoes in town.

Remedy? Well, there’s a few…and yet they all involve getting outside your own views of yourself, your situations, and your lot in life to become “coachable.”

One remedy might be to get a coach, because a coach can see about you what you can’t: where you stop, where your beliefs keep you in a box, where you sell out on your goals for playing safe, etc.

Another might be to have an action buddy, because when you have a regular person with whom you commit to taking actions — to move your goals forward — you’re more likely to actually do what you say. Otherwise, your action buddy moves on…because you’re simply all talk and no action.

Yet another might be to join a mastermind and accountability group, because tapping into the “master” mind — that body of insight, ideas and wisdom outside of you — and being held accountable to take action by an entire group…well that’s, as they say, a whole ‘nother ballgame.

So, the question for today is: which remedy is best for your ailing goals?

I’d offer to you to simply pick one and get started. Heck, if you’re really up for becoming who you’re meant to be in this lifetime, you might do a remedy trifecta: betting on all three, you simply can’t lose!

But, I’ll bet without betting on at least one, you’ll come up short of what’s truly possible for you.

Summer Discount Extended! My core initial coaching sessions are $50 OFF. Whether you’re exploring a career change (Career Review Strategy Session), wanting to grow your business as an owner or executive (PlayGame Big Game Coaching Session), or interested in designing a second half of career and/or life based on play, passion and purpose (Back Forty Big Game Coaching Session), take advantage of the summer discounts to intentionally grow here.

Also, if you’re local to Long Beach, CA, I’ll be starting up a small mastermind group shortly. Reach out to me quickly if interested…like today!

Got a remedy outside of yourself?

“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.” – C.S. Lewis

August 7, 2019 – JOLT – Dark knights are your best best growth buddies

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Don’t go through life, grow through life.” -Eric Butterworth

The first big choice…

is whether you want to grow: as a person, in your business, your relationship, your health, etc.

It’s easy to simply say “Sure!” because it seems like the right/moral/honorable direction to go. But a conscious growth choice requires more consideration.

Real growth vs lip-service has a catch: you’ll have to get uncomfortable.

And that too becomes something we often nonchalantly respond to with “of course!”…but when the friction, challenge, adversity, or time-under-tension increases, we sometimes forget that we chose this!

How often do we envision our growth coming from some fortunate breakthrough, turn of favorable events, or white knight showing up at our doorstep?

Mind you, if you’re going to vision, it’s best to throw mental darts toward the targets you want.

Yet, realizing that what actually shows up in your experience — IF you’ve really taken on a conscious intention toward growth — is exactly and perfectly what you need…that’s what separates the growers from the dart throwers.

Your empowering exercise for today, should you choose to accept it, is to briefly analyze an area of your life in which you’ve expressly stated that you want to grow and to see the perfection in everything that’s come your way other than what you envisioned or expected.

Inside of a context of intentional growth, the seeming dark knights you confront are actually the first assists toward reaching your desires.

Summer Discount Extended! My core initial coaching sessions are $50 OFF. Whether you’re exploring a career change (Career Review Strategy Session), wanting to grow your business as an owner or executive (PlayGame Big Game Coaching Session), or interested in designing a second half of career and/or life based on play, passion and purpose (Back Forty Big Game Coaching Session), take advantage of the summer discounts to intentionally grow here.

Got a dark knight assist?

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” -Abraham Maslow

July 31, 2019 – JOLT – Disappointment Relief Plan: in case of emergency

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Faith that it’s not always in your hands or things don’t always go the way you planned, but you have to have faith that there is a plan for you, and you must follow your heart and believe in yourself no matter what.” – Martina McBride

If you’re up to anything extraordinary…

or even just slightly above the average person’s aspirations, you’d better be ready for things to not work out the first time. Maybe not even the second, third or twelfth time.

We’ve all heard the story of Abraham Lincoln’s “Failures” path to the Presidency, but it never hurts to remind ourselves of it. However, at this link (too much to copy here), you can see juxtaposed beside his famous “failures” list all the rarely mentioned “successes” that occurred in his pre-presidential life.

Look, ask anyone for their favorite rags to riches, zero to zillionaire, or loser to light beam story, and they’ll tell you one. They’re good to hear, because they inspire us.

Yet, one thing we want to build into our own “failures” path to our own dream, as Professor Lucas Morel did with Lincoln’s story at the link above, is a constant awareness of what did work out and the wins that did happen. What if we put a similar list together?

In college, I once heard the then Mayor of Austin, TX, Carole Keeton McClellan, say that “If people aren’t having issues with you, you’re not doing much.”

It’s the same way with the goals and dreams that you’re pursuing: if you’re not experiencing challenges and disappointments, you’re not up to much.

So, having such a ready-made “Disappointment Relief Plan” may be good in case of emergencies. And, if you want to play big, hope and pray that you’re pulling it out regularly!

Throughout July (LAST DAY!) my core initial coaching sessions are $50 OFF. Whether you’re exploring a career change (Career Review Strategy Session), wanting to grow your business as an owner or executive (PlayGame Big Game Coaching Session), or interested in designing a second half of career and/or life based on play, passion and purpose (Back Forty Big Game Coaching Session), take advantage of the summer discounts to further your dream here.

Got a disappointment relief plan?

“Disappointments are just God’s way of saying ‘I’ve got something better.’ So, be patient, have faith, and live your life.” – Unknown