All Posts by Darrell Gurney

August 23, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed.” –Michelle K.

From the 17th to 19th centuries, nostalgia was considered a pathological disorder.

The term was coined by Swiss physician Johannes Hofer in his 1688 medical dissertation. The disease was considered similar to paranoia, except the sufferer was manic with longing, not perceived persecution, and similar to melancholy, except specific to an object or place.

How many of us are grateful that it’s not still considered a disease, for which you could be discharged from the army or medically “treated” through public ridicule and bullying?

Yet, let’s look around our homes, offices and other surroundings.

How much of what we see reminds us of who we WERE vs who we ARE…or, better yet, who we are BECOMING.

With thoughts such as “I might need this one day” or “Who knows if I’ll want to look at this again”, many of us can own up to being a nostalgiaholic.

Yet, for the sake of who we want to become–as a person, as a business, as a community–is it worth all that clutter-space to remember our less-than-who-we-are-now selves?

What stuff can you release of your old self to make room for the new?

Got nostalgiaholism?

“But here is the truth of nostalgia: we don’t feel it for who we were, but who we weren’t. We feel it for all the possibilities that were open to us, but that we didn’t take.” –Cecil Baldwin

August 16, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Stopping at third adds no more to the score than striking out. It doesn’t matter how well you start if you fail to finish.” –Billy Sunday

We can all talk a big game.

Many of us can even start a big game.

Yet, it’s the finishing of a big game which can prove eye-of-the-needle-ish.

Finishing touches can be tough to apply as every good reason and subconscious force comes to play on the defense’s team.

The fear of success. The fear of failure. The fear of being way outside one’s comfort zone that comes with anything of true impact or consequence for us or the world.

All of these suit up and show up to form a seemingly impenetrable line…

which we must cross.

Benjamin Franklin said “Well done is better than well said.” Perhaps in-any-condition done is more forgiving because perfectionism is just one more lineman. At least, if done, we’ve played. Now, we can reflect, learn, and get out and play again.

What ideas, initiatives, inspirations, projects or plans require your line-piercing completion?

Got finishing tough?

“A good inclination is but the first rude draught of virtue, but the finishing strokes are from the will.” –Robert South

August 9, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Appearance is something absolute, but reality is not that way – everything is interdependent, not absolute. So that view is very helpful to maintain a peace of mind.” –Dalai Lama

In the 3 1/2 years of this weekly JOLT note, I’ve not had a Wednesday birthday. I actually like the term “appearance” day, as it’s when I showed up on the planet. 😉

So, for my birthday, in appreciation for your receptivity to my weekly inspirations (and the notes of appreciation you often send back), I’m giving you an appearance opportunity.

“Appearance” is a word that can carry many meanings.

There’s our outward physicality. Also, there’s our showing up…as either who we “are”, or who we choose to be. And then there’s the deceptions of the way things look vs. the way they really are.

If you personally have an “appearance” showing up that you don’t like, such as…

• you just got laid off
• you just lost a relationship
• you feel stuck in a rut of immobility
• your finances ain’t what they used to be
• you’re experiencing anything that has you feeling a victim to circumstances

Then I want you to know you have an opportunity to alter the appearances by the focus you take. The real “you” is bigger than any of it.

What if you could find, in the midst of all of it, 20 blessings?

What if, somehow, in some way, this unwanted “appearance” could be seen as the best thing that ever happened to you?

What if the way “it really is” is an opportunity for you to expand to the next level, personally, professionally, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?

Believe me, I’ve been there and, like all of us, enjoy the ongoing “growth opportunities” that life offers.

I’ve found a way, however, to answer those “What ifs” with a “Yes, I get it!”

And, for my birthday, I’d like to offer you a low-bar opportunity to get it too.

So, short and sweet, can I give you a $20 bill as an ethical bribe for your finding your own 20 blessings in the midst of whatever you’re personally facing?

See below to take advantage of my appearance day offer in the next 48 hours…and please, whatever you do, enjoy this appearance day as one of your best.

Got appearance day?

“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.” –Charles R. Swindoll

August 2, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” ―George Bernard Shaw

In the soup of our daily lives, when the detail can fill up most of our waking consciousness and the challenges and next steps can rise like walls, it’s important to stop, look back, and realize how far we’ve come.

No, we may not be “there” yet, and we may have been through or currently be in the midst of seeming difficulty, and yet we can choose to see it all as progress.

Even if it’s the final time we’re hitting our head against a wall, that’s advancement… because it’s the final time and everything is earned and deserved growth from here!

The sister Schools of Life and Hard Knocks have easy admission standards but only minimal seasoned graduates. Those who view the schooling as progress rise to the top of the class.

In what ways and areas can you look back today to be empowered by how far you’ve come?

Seriously! Just look at where and how you were 3 years ago! Sheesh!!!!

Got progresso?

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement and success have no meaning.” –Benjamin Franklin

July 26, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves, otherwise we harden.” ―Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Our life has a few grooves.

Some are new areas of fascination and exploration in which we’ve overcome fear and inertia so as to “get a new groove on”.

Some are the foundational structures that we’ve learned to count on and from which we express outwardly into the world. Home, family, career, friends, community, finances, spirituality, etc.

Some are simply ruts, carved deeply into the ground of what seems like the only path before us because it’s the only path we’ve known.

Thank God for regroovination! Available anytime and for anyone!

The only problems come when we don’t consciously choose it before it chooses us.

As we’ve learned from our own lives or watching others, the foundational structures can shift at any time.

As we’ve also learned from our own lives or watching others, the ruts just ain’t no fun.

Therefore, overcoming fear and inertia to regroovinate may be the smart, health-and-wellness, preventative measure to take.

What groovy areas of fascination and exploration are calling to you?

Got regroovination?

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” –C.S. Lewis

July 19, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent’.” ― Alfred Brendel

We’ve all heard and used the expression “It’s so loud, I can’t hear myself think!”

Yet, when we do sometime find a way to quiet the mind and ease the spirit, what is the thinking that we hear?

Is it default thinking, which may be more accurately defined as “thoughting”…where every old pattern of judgment, analysis, worry, concern, and slicing & dicing of people, places and things takes place?

The thoughts come and then land on us, without a whole lot of effort on our part.

Or, is it invented and creational, which stretches us outside the patterned bubble of our own current best thinking?

Certain individuals have found within themselves that internal, innovative guidance. Yet, more often than not, to think outside one’s own circle of best thinking requires inquiry from and engagement with the outside.

Thus, we have teachers, counselors, coaches, communities and courses to expand ourselves so as to, as the Queen of Hearts guided Alice in Wonderland, “believe six impossible things before breakfast.”

What are the life-, career-, relationship-, future- or purpose-related impossible things you could believe before breakfast today?

Got creative hearthink?

“Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a celing on yourself.” –Oprah Winfrey

July 12, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“I like situations that force me to rethink things.” –Marc Almond

July begins the second half of 2017.

What were the goals you had in place from all those plans and resolves made last December? What was this going to be THE year for?

Most new years “resolutions” disappear before the first week of January. Yet, some of us have been at it, moving our intentions forward, learning as we grow, overcoming challenges, and both experiencing the thrill of victory and the agony of (temporary) defeat.

July 4th is a great marker dividing each year to remind us of the idea of independence from our past, what’s now possible, and the opportunity to invent what’s ahead.

So, as we move into 2017 Take 2, what goals, intentions and dreams can you rethink vs. retreat from?

If the first half of this year was only R & D, research & development, for the fulfillment your Big 2017 Game, what’s possible now?

Got R & D rethink?

“Success today requires the agility and drive to constantly rethink, reinvigorate, react, and reinvent.” –Bill Gates

July 5, 2017, TGIW: Independence…and August Queen Mary INFUSE

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“What then is freedom? The power to live as one wishes.” –Marcus Tullius Cicero

As we move on from our celebrations, a few last varying words on independence.

Enjoy your freedoms to produce more holidays ahead.”The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”Denis Waitley

“I wanted to be an independent woman, a woman who could pay for her bills, a woman who could run her own life – and I became that woman.” Diane von Furstenberg?

Diversity: the art of thinking independently together.” Malcolm Forbes

“Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives.  Man’s life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of his self.” B. R. Ambedkar?

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will.” Charlotte Bronte

“Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the danger of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of ‘crackpot’ than the stigma of conformity.” Thomas J. Watson?

“The man who is aware of himself is henceforward independent; and he is never bored, and life is only too short, and he is steeped through and through with a profound yet temperate happiness.” Virginia Woolf?

Got independence?“Every human has four endowments – self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.​” –Stephen Covey​​

June 28, 2017, TGIW: ExpanChange…and Your Queen Mary Calling!

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” –Socrates

Let’s face it. Change sucks. At least for the moment.

As someone who stands in front of groups touting the long-term benefits of transition–from old ways, jobs, involvements, routines, structures, relationships, life patterns, etc. — if there’s a person on the planet who should know “it’s all good” no matter what happens, I’m that guy.

Yet, hit even me with the unexpected…and there’s that pit in the stomach, the wondering “what’s wrong” that this change came about, anxious of what the future will hold (if it’s not simply an extension or outgrowth of the past), thinking that this “change” (whatever it is) is somehow a bad thing.

Guess what? None of us can escape our immediate human-ness and the primal pull toward the comfort zone! A feeling of control, safety and predictability reside there…and we wallow in those.

But, no big game or great leap forward ever came out of the comfort zone.

That bears repeating: no big game or great leap forward ever came out of the comfort zone.

So, what if beyond the immediate tragedy there was a solid strategy taking us to our next level?

Just what if every single change, if received mindfully, was the path to our greater yet to be?

Just what if we had a method and a mindset — which we remember quickly — for transforming every single seemingly limiting situation from our past and present into an expansive launch pad for our future?

I’d say that is a mindset to be cultivated…because, if there’s one constant companion you’ll never lose, it’s change. Better friend than foe, this wily character.

What personal change can you turn from pure sucking to good lucking today?

Got expanchange?

“Be relentless in your pursuit for expansion.” –Robert Greene

June 21, 2017, TGIW: Differently…and Summer Second-Half Fun

By Darrell Gurney | Blog

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” –Authorship in debate

Been knocking your head against a wall?

Wanting results that aren’t happening?

Or, better yet, trying new approaches and seeing no hoped-for new results?

First, what may be missing is a willingness to do things differently.

Second, what may be missing is an awareness that there is differently beyond differently.

Maybe any new approaches are just within the same paradigm of the old ones.

There’s doing things differently, and then there’s doing things differently.

Makes you think, doesn’t it? That’s always a good thing.

Got differently?

“As soon as you open your mind to doing things differently, the doors of opportunity practically fly off their hinges.” –Jay Abraham